My Invisible Husband

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My Invisible Husband

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Lessons on becoming a Woman of Virtue
By Guest Blogger Jacqueline Moore

Now it’s time to talk about us single women. Now I won’t ask how many of you have never been married. There is something I want to ask and that is how many of you unmarried women are still virgins? Does that question make you uncomfortable? Well it should. Since there is nothing we can do about our past, let’s talk about our present and our future.

Many of you would like to believe that it’s important to find out how good your man is in bed before you decide if he’s someone, you may want to marry someday. In this day and age, too often we decide to sleep with a man almost as soon as we meet him, even before we know anything else about him.

Yes, I did say we. I too have been caught up in the moment. And I will be honest with you; the passion does increase, as we get older. We are all too willing to give men our greatest gift, ourselves, before we even find out if he is going to be the man who will become our husbands.

We go through men like we do pantyhose. We try them on and find out if they fit or not and then discard them when we find a snag or a run in them. Now many of you may want to say, that God’s view on the sanctity of the marriage bed is outdated. Well you may believe that to be true. However, the reality of our sleeping around, is that it’s just another excuse that we use to feed into our low self-esteem. It’s another excuse for allowing men to take advantage of our essence. Our spirit and our souls. Our very hearts.

The Lord only wants us to love one another in the truest sense. Too often, we confuse lust with love. It’s just another way that we are destroying ourselves, our families, our value systems.

We give men excuses for not being faithful to us. Too many of us are willing to compromise our bodies and ourselves for a moment of pleasure. Is a moment of pleasure worth risking being separated from God for all eternity?

Ladies, how many of you read fairytales growing up? How many of you noticed that the girl always got her prince charming and lived happily ever after? Well have I got news for you. Life is not a fairytale. Stop waiting for your prince charming. He ain’t coming.

Now this may sound contradictory, but we have to learn to take care of ourselves. Even those of you who are married. Some may argue this point and say that it goes against what God says about being submissive to your husbands, but in essence, when we learn to take care of ourselves, we are taking some of the burden off of our husbands.

Now this is not an excuse for your husband to neglect his responsibilities, nor is it a reason for you to try to rule over your husband. It is only for the well-being of you, your husband and your household that you are able to handle your families business. It is only for the well-being of your husband that you be able to stand in his place in his absence.

Ladies, for those of you who are not married, who else is going to take care of you? Your parents? Your boyfriend? Who? Reality check. You may never get married. There will come a day when you have to move out of your parent’s house, and/or the day will come when your parents will not be able to take care of themselves. We must learn to be independent.

No one wants a woman who can’t do anything. No one wants a woman who has to be taken care of. You are not that cute. Even if beauty got you a husband remember, beauty is fleeting. Would you want to wake up at the ripe old age of fifty and realize that you do not know how to take care of yourself and that you are all alone?

The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. Proverbs 14:1

Jacqueline Moore and her two sons, James and Joseph reside in Detroit Michigan. They are members of New St. Mark Baptist Church under the leadership of Sr. Pastor, Larry Smith. Jackie is currently pursuing her undergraduate degree in religion and offers spiritual words of encouragement daily on her website

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