Over the weekend I watched a play by one of my favorite writers (David E Talbert) Love on Lay-Away starring Deborah Cox, Mel Jackson, Marla Gibbs, etc. If you haven't seen it yet, definately buy it or rent it. It's on sale now at Amazon.com.
Anyway, after watching the play, it made me think about having "commitment phobia."
Although most would contribute this issue to some men, some women also have this issue.
My third book - Paige's Web is about a woman who has commitment phobia.
Have you ever had commitment phobia or know someone who has?
How much time is too much time to invest in a relationship before either moving forward with the one you're with or abandoning it and waiting on someone who is ready to commit?
Sometimes it may seem that the woman has to be the one to "keep" the relationship in tact, but it shouldn't be that way. In my limited experience I've found that if a man is really truly interested in making the relationship work, than he will do his part. He might not do it the way that we would or be a little slow about doing it, but he will still put in the work necessary to keep the relationship intact and do things to help it flourish.
It takes two people to have a successful relationship. One person can't be the only one trying. If only one person is trying you will have confusion, disagreements and resentment.
Are undue expectations put on women to have a successful relationship or do you think the responsibility falls on both the man and the woman?
I received an email from someone and they made some points that you may agree or disagree with. They brought out the fact that it seems as if the woman takes a lot of the responsibility when it comes to holding a relationship together.
Do men need to be more accountable in a relationship?
Win a Phone Call from R & B Singer Brian McKnight
Pre-order My Invisible Husband by Shelia M Goss and be entered for a chance to speak with one of her favorite R & B singers, the sensational & sexy Brian McKnight. He'll be speaking with Shelia about his soon to be released new album "10" and she would love it if you also had a chance to talk to him.
To enter go to: http://www.sheliagoss.com/contests.htm
Contributed by Kandie Delley
The media hype surrounding unmarried, career focused women in their thirties isn't always fabulous. Normally they are stories filled with the desperation of 'sistah girls' seeking 'Mr. Right.' Our society has a long way to go to accept the growing number of women who have decided to be more than just wifey and/or mommy!
For some women the 'single' status is a 'weird' place to be and for others it's the only place to be. Regardless of where you imagined yourself by your thirties 'romantically,' your single status is a GREAT opportunity to get financially READY!
Over the years, I've learned to appreciate my single hood and take advantage of this time in my life to pursue other things such as outdoor & water sports, entertainment goals, completing my degree and starting my own business. As a matter of fact, I'm even preparing to own my first home.
It was a process to change my mindset about this purchasing a home as a single woman, however in doing so my whole perspective to managing finances have changed. My system and beliefs about budgeting, investing, home ownership, and saving have totally shifted in a direction that promotes a healthier and fiscally responsible ME.
So my guest blog is about being financially ready for the great things life can and will bring your way. And believe me; life will land some pretty unexpected things in your lap. And for those women, who are still focused on the "Mr. Right" angle of single hood, think about it this way; "Are you a complement or representation of the man you'd like to meet?"
If not, take this time to become the woman you want to be and a bigger blessing to that special man when he finds you!
Keshia Kola is the Guest Blogger for Today.
When I lived on the East coast, men welcomed the hunt…reveled in the challenges set before them. They made eye contact and boldly went where no other man dares to have gone.
On the West coast it’s a totally different playing ground or arena. The men expect the women to make the first, second and third move. They also expect women to pay. The script has truly flipped. I wish they made men like they used to. Nowadays women are more dominant and open. Freely expressing their sexuality and inhibitions. Traditional values have flown out the window and on to the 405 freeway--stifled and stuck in traffic.
Now, finding romance involves a trip to Blockbuster or a Netflix delivery.
A man once told me, he has a better chance at finding a good woman, than a woman finding a good man. Is that true?
I did a poll asking 3 men on the east and 3 men on the west about courtship. The East coast men cheerfully answered the questions thoughtfully and in great detail. The men on the West…uhhh. One guy told me, “Sorry babe, you're a cutie, but I only do things for credit, press, or money.” Another guy told me, “I don't like girlfriends, there are way too many women out there for me to enjoy instead of keeping one that can nag me to death. I can't remember the last time I had sex with the same girl more than 5 times. If a female wants to make me run through hoops I just go on to the next one, I'm too important and my time it too valuable to waste it on someone who doesn't value my time.”
Has times changed or does geography play a factor? Not everyone who lives in LA is from there; so did they leave their values and traditions in Wichita? Then you have to worry about the men on the low…the down low. Or the ones who are married, yet believe adultery is okay.
It’s a crazy world out there and it’s not getting any better. Cincinnati is looking not so nasty and the south, not so dirty. The city of angels, now that’s a bit of irony for you. The hunting ground has become a thing of ratios and statistics. A business decision if you will. Although I may fail miserably, I refuse to give up on the fact that good men are hard to find. I’ve packed my binoculars, my camouflage, my smell goods, charm and spiritual beliefs. And so the hunt is on!
KK (Keshia Kola... http://www.myspace.com/keshiakola)