The Nikki question this week is in form of a poll. Please take the time to vote now. Scroll down.
I don't have a particular topic for this week; instead this is an opportunity to speak what's on your mind on any subject--the good, the bad, the ugly.
Or look at a few of the previous posts and leave your comments.
Get to commenting :)
Last week I was visiting Princess Dominique's blog like I normally do several times a week and one of her posts sparked this week's topic-what happens when you go from being friends to lovers. I've always had males as friends since as long as I can remember. I have several male friends who are like brothers to me. There's nothing they wouldn't do for their girl and the feeling is mutual. So this post isn't about those type of male friends. I want to talk about the male friend who you may have had some type of romantic thought about but instead of either one of you acting on it, you kept it in the "friend" category.
Maybe I'm the only one who has experienced this, but I do have one male friend who makes me consider crossing that friend line. He's not who I would consider the type of guy I would normally date (he's a few years younger/more kids than I would know what to do with/and he's an ex-thug) but underneath the persona he portrays to the public, he's like a big old teddy bear--he's caring, he's a good father to his kids, and I would definately feel secure if faced with a life or death situation because he can handle his own against anyone, and did I mention that he's extremely sexy in more ways than one. I feel free to voice this because he only gets online to check email and I know he won't be reading this blog (smile).
There's a thin line between going from being friends to lovers. What if things don't work out? Will you lose a good friend? Can it ever go back to the way it used to be? Is it really worth losing a friend over?
But on the other hand, who knows you better than your friend? Doesn't it make it easier if you're friends first? Shouldn't your mate be your best friend anyway?
The Nikki questions for the week: Have you ever gone from being a friend to a lover? If you're no longer together, are you still friends? What were some of the pros and cons?
It seems that we have blinders on when we first fall in love or meet someone we think is all that and then some. Sometimes others are able to see what we can't. Have you ever been in a toxic relationship and everybody can see it but you? The people around you bring it to your attention, but you deny it to the end and sometimes alienate the folks that truly care for you because you can't see or refuse to see what they point out.
For the most part, your family and friends care and want what's best for you. When you hurt, they hurt. If you were happy go lucky prior to meeting Joe Mack, but after you and Joe Mack get together folks notice a huge mood change, it's a red flag to them that something just ain't right. They begin to pay closer attention to how Joe Mack treats you...if they feel he's in any way disrespectful or abusive; they step in and give their unwanted 2 cents. I say unwanted, because you really don't want to hear anything bad about the man you love.
There should be balance. Once the blinders are off, then you can see the man for what he truly is. You can also validate or void what others are saying about the man that you're with. Because there are times that the people from the outside looking in don't have the whole story and their assumption about your man is wrong.
In the end you are the one who has to live with the decisions or choices you make for your life.
The Nikki questions for the week: What do you do when your family/friends don't like the man you're with? Have your family/friends been right about a guy and you wished you would have listened to them?
For regular readers of this blog, you may recall an entry I wrote on pampering yourself. Well, I turned the entry into an article, "Surviving Mr. Wrong," and it's in the current issue of Vivica Fox's new magazine JOLIE. I've chatted with a few of you and because it's a new magazine, some are unsure where to get their copy. Jolie is sold at Barnes and Noble, Booksamillion and other outlets throughout the country. The current issue has Lisa Raye on the cover. The article I wrote is on page 28.
In the article, I give tips on things to do for yourself to help get you through a breakup or basically just how to keep your stress level low. Pampering yourself isn't selfish. If you don't take care of you, then who will? We all have to do things that will keep us centered. If single, embrace being single. Take the opportunity to love yourself. Develop a pampering or nurturing ritual that strengthens your spiritual and physical needs.
The Nikki question of the week: When the world around you gets a little crazy, how do you stay centered? Share some of your pampering tips.