My Invisible Husband

Enter your Email

Preview | Powered by FeedBlitz

My Invisible Husband

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Calling All Bloggers

In December there will be guest bloggers on the My Invisible Husband Blog.

If you are interested in being a guest blogger during December, please contact me at and I'll let you know which day I'll need your post.

The subject should be about relationships. Let's have some fun.

I have a real treat for you on tomorrow. The first guest blogger's contributing piece is Part I -The Battle of the Sexes - Or Is It?

0 your rant or rave

Monday, November 28, 2005

All My Hollywood Men Are Breaking Up

What in the world is in the water in Tinseltown? Over the past month or so, I found out Morris Chestnut broke up with his wife and then to read an article this morning about Terrence Howard and his wife's seperation leaves me wondering--what in the *&** is going on? There was a rumor which hasn't been proven that another popular AA male celebrity that I love and adore is on the outs with his wife. I won't mention his name here, but I just hope that it's a false rumor. Say it isn't so.

Then there's the other breakups like Laelia Ali and her beau, Gabrielle Union and her beau, Jessica Simpson and her beau and the list goes on and on.

Oh yeah, and you can add my three year relationship to the list of major breakups this year. Like anyone else besides me really

6 your rant or rave

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Love at First Sight...or Lust?
By Chelsea Badeau, Relationships Editor

You're at a party when suddenly you lock eyes with the beautiful, yet slightly mysterious, stranger across the room and then something stirs deep within your soul and from that very moment, you know it's true love.

The stuff of daydreams and Hollywood movies...or is it?

The idea of falling head over heels in love with someone upon just a single glance has been around for ages. But, is love at first sight really possible? Some say yes. Most say no. A more likely answer is infatuation or lust at first sight, but not love.

Wouldn't life be easy if you could find the love of your life after just seeing him or her? This concept brings to mind the age-old question: what is love and how do we know when we are "in" it? Is it just a feeling that you immediately recognize or is it something that takes time to develop, that may sneak up and catch you by surprise?

There are many ways that people define love. Love is such an individual thing that every instance of love shared between two people is different and unique. Love is not a static thing. It is constantly evolving and being molded to accurately reflect the current situation between you and another.

A romantic love, of course, is the most precious love of all. The ultimate love is when you can share your inner-most thoughts, your daily life, and your physical desires with another human being. The complete satisfaction of all three needs is rare. Even rarer still, is when that love is whole and complete and pure and unquestioned. A love that seeks no answers and where trust is absolute is blessed.

When you truly love someone you give unselfishly, not worrying about what you will receive in return. This is a novel concept in a world of 'what can I get for that?' But, it is important. If you can conceive of giving someone everything, you know that your feelings are quite deep. Love is wanting the person you love to succeed no matter what the circumstances.

When I first met my mate, I wasn't really interested. We worked for the same company, but we were in different departments. A year after we met, we slowly started to realize the potential in our relationship. It was more like love at 100th sight.

This is a long way from the notion of love at first sight. Many people are infatuated with the idea of meeting someone so amazing that they are swept off their feet.

While I do believe that two people can click right away and that a mutual chemistry can be established almost immediately, I think it takes much more time to really reach the level of intimacy in a relationship defined as love. Namely, you must first have a relationship.

Please share your experiences and let me know if you think love at first sight is the stuff of fiction novels or reality.

0 your rant or rave

Sunday, November 13, 2005


Never change yourself to fit someone else's needs, because guess what--their needs will change.
I made that statement to someone last week and it stuck with me all weekend. I'm single again and meeting new people and wonder if I'm too outspoken, but then I thought about it. If a man can't deal with a strong willed woman, then he shouldn't waste my time nor his.

I asked myself the question--How many times have you compromised in a past relationship? The truth. More than I care to put out into cyberspace. But I refuse to compromise again. I had a nice talk with one of my exes recently and they were shocked at some of the things I told them. Mainly because I held back some things when we were together because I didn't want to hurt their feelings. In the end, me holding back was one of the causes that led to the demise of our relationship. It got to a point where I didn't care to be in their presence but I wasn't communicating a lot of issues I was having with them.

Going forward, I promised myself that I will express myself more and be me and whoever can't deal with it, can keep on keeping on.

5 your rant or rave

Friday, November 11, 2005


After watching one of my favorite authors, Terry McMillian, and her ex-gay husband on Oprah this past week I came to the conclusion that LOVE IS BLIND.

Now that we know Jonathan has clearly come out of the closet, one might ask themselves, why didn't Terry see that he was gay? Hmmm. Well, how can I put this. It starts with an L and ends with an E or it could end with a T. Lust led to love and love blinded her. Simple.

I can't knock Terry because so many times we ourselves have been blinded by love. How many times has someone tried to warn you about a man who you later find out to be a dog with a capital D? Sometimes our own intuition kicks in and warns us that he is not the one, but we ignore our internal radar and fall for the handsome face or buff body.

Here are a few sure signs you need to run away (regardless if he's heterosexual, bisexual or just came out the closet gay):

1. If your man is constantly getting checked out by gay men, run the other way.
2. If your man stays in the mirror more than you do, you might want to think again and run the other way.
3. If your man uses vaseline on his lips, you got it--run the other way.
4. If your man stops pleasing you sexually, don't stand for it--run the other way.
5. If your family and friends tell you something just ain't right about him--listen--they can see something you can't--run the other way.

Okay, I think you get the point. To PROTECT your heart AND your HEALTH, you must take off the blinders and see the man for who and what he is.

Love might be blind, but that doesn't mean you have to be.

6 your rant or rave

Thursday, November 10, 2005

How sexy is your name?

According to studies, the first letter of your first name reveals your
sexual identity .. What do you think? Did yours ring true.

I have to admit the S fits me.

You are secretive, self-contained, and shy. You are very sexy,
sensual, and passionate, but you do not let on to
this. Only in intimate privacy will this part of your nature reveal
itself. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you
are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play
any role or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don't
fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come

Here's the rest from A to Z:
You are not particularly romantic, but you are interested inaction.
You mean business. With you, what you see is what you get. You have no
patience for flirting and can't be bothered with someone who is trying
to be coy, cute, demure, and subtly enticing. You are an up front
person. When it comes to sex, its action that counts not obscure hints.
Your mate's physical attractiveness is important to you. You find the
chase and challenge of the "hunt" invigorating. You are passionate and
sexual as well as being much more adventurous than you appear; however,
you do not go around advertising these qualities. Your physical needs
are your primary concern.

You give off vibes of lazy sensuality. You enjoy being romanced,
wined, and dined. You are very happy to receive gifts as an
__expression of the affection of your lover. You want to be pampered
and know how to pamper your mate. You are private in your __expression
of endearments and particularly when it comes to lovemaking. You will
hold off until everything meets with your approval. You can control
your appetite and abstain from sex if need be. You require new
sensations and experiences. You are willing to experiment.

You are a very social individual, and it is important to you to have a
relationship. You require closeness and
togetherness. You must be able to talk to your sex partner before,
during, and after. You want the object of your
affection to be socially acceptable and good looking. You see your
lover as a friend and companion. You are very sexual and sensual
needing someone to appreciate and almost worship you. When this cannot
be achieved, you have the ability to go for long periods without sexual
activity. You are an e expert at controlling your desires and doing

Once you get it into your head that you want someone, you move full
steam ahead in pursuit. You do not give up your quest easily. You are
nurturing and caring. If someone has a problem, this turns you on. You
are highly sexual, passionate, loyal, and intense in your involvement,
sometimes possessive and jealous. Sex to you is a pleasure to be
enjoyed. You are stimulated by the eccentric and unusual, having a free
and open.

Your greatest need is to talk. If your date is not a good listener,
you have trouble relating. A person must be
intellectually stimulating or you are not interested sexually. You
need a friend for a lover and a companion for
a bed mate. You hate disharmony and disruption, but you do enjoy a
good argument once in a while it seems to stir things up. You flirt a
lot, for the challenge is more important than the sexual act for you,
but once you give
your heart away, you are uncompromisingly loyal. When you don't have a
good lover to fall asleep with, you will fall asleep with a good book.
(Sometimes, in fact, you prefer a good look.)

You are idealistic and romantic, putting your lover on a pedestal. You
look for the very best mate you can find. You are a flirt, yet once
committed, you are very loyal. You are sensuous, sexual and privately
passionate. Publicly, you can be showy, extravagant, and gallant. You
are born romantic. Dramatic life scenes are your favorite fantasy
pastime. You can be a very generous lover.

You are crap in bed!(Remember....I didn't write this!!!! (LOL)

You seek a mate who can enhance your reputation and earning ability.
You will be very generous to your lover once you have attained a
commitment. Your gifts are actually an investment in your partner r.
Before the commitment, though, you tend to be frugal in your spending
and dating habits and equally cautious in your sexual involvement. You
are a sensual and patient lover.

You have a great need to be loved and appreciated... Even worshipped.
You enjoy luxury, sensuality, and pleasures of the flesh. You look for
lovers who know what they are doing. You are not interested in an
amateur, unless that amateur wants a tutor. You are fussy and exacting
about having your desires satisfied. You are willing to experiment and
try new modes of sexual __expression. You bore easily and thus require
sexual adventure and change. You are more sensual than sexual, but you
are sometimes downright lustful.

You are totally fu*king marvelous!

You can be very romantic, attached to the glamour of love. Having a
partner is of paramount importance to you. You are free in your
expression of love and are willing to take chances, try new sexual
experiences and partners provided it's all in good taste. Brains turn
you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating
otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You
require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being

You are very romantic, idealistic, and somehow you believe that to
love means to suffer. You wind up serving your mate or attracting
people who have unusual troubles. You see yourself as your lover's
savior. You are sincere, passionate, lustful, and dreamy. You can't
help falling in love. You really enjoy stimulating yourself, though you
are fairly new to it. You fantasize and get turned on by movies and
magazines. You do not tell others of this secret life, nor of your
sexual fantasies.

You are emotional and intense. When involved in a relationship, you
throw your entire being into it. Nothing
stops you; there are no holds barred. You are all consuming and crave
someone who is equally passionate and intense. You are willing to try
anything and everything. Your supply of sexual energy is inexhaustible.
You are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and also enjoy
mothering your mate.

You need constant stimulation because you bore quickly. You can handle
more than one relationship at a
time with ease. You believe in total sexual freedom. You are willing
to try anything and everything. Your supply of sexual energy is
inexhaustible. You are a flirt yet once committed, you are very loyal.
You are sensuous, sexual, and privately passionate. Publicly, you can
be showy, extravagant, and gallant. You are born romantic. Dramatic
love scenes are your favorite fantasy pastime. You can be a very
generous lover.

You are very interested in sexual activities yet secretive and shy
about your desires. You can re-channel much of your sexual energy into
making money and/or seeking power. You can easily have extended periods
of celibacy. You are a passionate, compassionate, sexual lover,
requiring the same qualities from your mate. Sex is serious business;
thus you demand intensity and diversity, and are willing to try
anything or anyone. Sometimes your passions turn to possessiveness,
which must be kept in check.

You are very conscious of social proprieties. You wouldn't think of
doing anything that might harm your image or
reputation. Appearances count, therefore, you require a good-looking
partner. You also require an intelligent
partner. Oddly enough, you may view your partner as your enemy; A good
fight stimulates those sex vibes. You are relatively free of sexual
hang-ups. You are willing to experiment and try new ways of doing
things. You are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and need a
good deal of physical gratification.

You require constant activity and stimulation. You have tremendous
physical energy. It is not easy for a partner to keep up with you,
sexually or otherwise. You are an enthusiastic lover and tend to be
attracted to people of
other ethnic groups. You need romance, hearts and flowers, and lots of
conversation to turn you on and keep you going.

You are a no-nonsense, action-oriented individual. You need someone
who can keep pace with you and who is your intellectual equal the
smarter the better. You are turned on more quickly by a great mind than
by a great body. However, physical attractiveness is very important to
you. You have to be proud of your partner. You are privately very sexy,
but you do not brag, you are willing to serve as teacher. Sex is
important; you can be a very demanding playmate.

You are secretive, self-contained, and shy. You are very sexy,
sensual, and passionate, but you do not let on to
this. Only in intimate privacy will this part of your nature reveal
itself. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you
are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play
any role or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don't
fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come

You are very sensitive, private, and sexually passive; you like a
partner who takes the lead. Music, soft lights and
romantic thoughts turn you on. You fantasize, but do not tend to fall
in and out of love easily. When in love, you
are romantic, idealistic, mushy, and extremely intense. You enjoy
having your senses and your feelings stimulated,
titillated, and teased. You are a great flirt. You can make your
relationships fit your dreams, often times all in your
own head.

You are enthusiastic and idealistic when in love. When not in love,
you are in love with love, always looking for
someone to adore. You see romance as a challenge. You are a roamer and
need adventure, excitement, and freedom. You deal in potential
relationships. You enjoy giving gifts and enjoy seeing your mate
looking good. Your sex drive is strong and you desire instant
ratification. You are willing to put your partner's pleasures above
your own.

You are individualistic, and you need freedom, space, and excitement.
You wait until you know someone well before committing yourself.
Knowing someone means psyching him out. You feel a need to get into his
head to see what makes him tick. You are attracted to eccentric types.
Often there is an age difference between you and your lover. You
respond to danger, thrills, and suspense. The gay scene turns you on,
even though you yourself may not be a participant.

You are very proud, determined, and you refuse to take no for an
answer when pursuing love. Your ego is at stake. You are romantic,
idealistic, and often in love with love itself, not seeing your partner
as he or she really is. You feel deeply and throw all of yourself into
your relationships. Nothing is too good for your lover. You enjoy
playing love games.

You need constant stimulation because you bore quickly. You can handle
more than one relationship at a time with ease. You can't shut off your
mind. You talk while you make love. You can have the greatest love
affairs all by yourself, in your own head.

You are sexual, sensual, and very independent. If you can't have it
your way, you will forget the whole thing. You want to control your
relationships, which doesn't always work out too well. You respond to
physical stimulation, enjoy necking and spending hours just touching,
feeling and exploring. However, if you can spend your time making
money, you will give up the pleasures of the flesh for the moment. You
need to prove to yourself and your partner what a great lover you are.
You want feedback on your performance. You are an open, stimulating and

Sorry, there was no "Z" in this transmission. Catching "Z's" no doubt.

3 your rant or rave

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

7 things I plan to do before I die:

1. Travel to every state in the US at least once.
2. Learn how to swim.
3. Learn how to speak Spanish fluently.
4. Learn how to speak French fluently.
5. Visit the Pyramids in Egypt.
6. Leave a legacy for my kids or nieces/nephews.
7. Develop a way to keep spammers out of my email box.

7 things I can do:

1. Create stories with a twist.
2. Choose songs that will be hits prior to them ever being
played on the radio.
3. Dance like Janet Jackson.
4. Make the best homemade banana pudding this side of
the Mississippi River.
5. Talk on the phone, check email, chat online and hold a conversation
with someone in the room at the same time.
6. A good listener.
7. Travel by myself and have a great time.

7 things I cannot do:
1. Read while a car or plane is in motion.
2. Put up with fake people.
3. Mow a yard (that's a man's job)
4. Drink a coke when I want a sprite.
5. Eat a hamburger with onions.
6. Put up with bad kids.
7. Think of something to put on this list.

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex:

1. Sexy Eyes
2. Ability to hold a decent conversation
3. Pretty Smile
4. Body language
5. The size of his shoe (get your mind out the gutter)
6. A man playing basketball or football
7. His ability to make me feel like the only woman in the room.

7 things that I say most often:

1. Whatever.
2. Anyway.
3. Please.
4. Don't Get it Twisted.
5. I know they didn't.
6. Life is too short for BS.
7. Don't even worry about it.

7 Celebrity crushes:

1. Denzel Washington
2. Shemar Moore
3. Morris Chestnut
4. Brad Pitt
5. Blair Underwood
6. Boris Kodjoe
7. LL Cool J

7 people I want to do this:

1. V Anthony
2. Cherlyn
3. Peggy L
4. Yolanda
5. Mrs. Giggles
6. Cocoa Butterfly
7. Anybody else who hasn’t done it yet.

2 your rant or rave


This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say "you're welcome."

It's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU!

2 your rant or rave

Thursday, November 03, 2005

I've been in hiding this week working on something new. I'm debating on whether or not to change the look of the blog. But I kind of like the pink and the hearts, so I doubt if I change it :)
Hope all is well with everyone and thanks for being patient.

1 your rant or rave

Click it, you'll get some if you do;)