My Invisible Husband

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My Invisible Husband

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Love at First Sight...or Lust?
By Chelsea Badeau, Relationships Editor

You're at a party when suddenly you lock eyes with the beautiful, yet slightly mysterious, stranger across the room and then something stirs deep within your soul and from that very moment, you know it's true love.

The stuff of daydreams and Hollywood movies...or is it?

The idea of falling head over heels in love with someone upon just a single glance has been around for ages. But, is love at first sight really possible? Some say yes. Most say no. A more likely answer is infatuation or lust at first sight, but not love.

Wouldn't life be easy if you could find the love of your life after just seeing him or her? This concept brings to mind the age-old question: what is love and how do we know when we are "in" it? Is it just a feeling that you immediately recognize or is it something that takes time to develop, that may sneak up and catch you by surprise?

There are many ways that people define love. Love is such an individual thing that every instance of love shared between two people is different and unique. Love is not a static thing. It is constantly evolving and being molded to accurately reflect the current situation between you and another.

A romantic love, of course, is the most precious love of all. The ultimate love is when you can share your inner-most thoughts, your daily life, and your physical desires with another human being. The complete satisfaction of all three needs is rare. Even rarer still, is when that love is whole and complete and pure and unquestioned. A love that seeks no answers and where trust is absolute is blessed.

When you truly love someone you give unselfishly, not worrying about what you will receive in return. This is a novel concept in a world of 'what can I get for that?' But, it is important. If you can conceive of giving someone everything, you know that your feelings are quite deep. Love is wanting the person you love to succeed no matter what the circumstances.

When I first met my mate, I wasn't really interested. We worked for the same company, but we were in different departments. A year after we met, we slowly started to realize the potential in our relationship. It was more like love at 100th sight.

This is a long way from the notion of love at first sight. Many people are infatuated with the idea of meeting someone so amazing that they are swept off their feet.

While I do believe that two people can click right away and that a mutual chemistry can be established almost immediately, I think it takes much more time to really reach the level of intimacy in a relationship defined as love. Namely, you must first have a relationship.

Please share your experiences and let me know if you think love at first sight is the stuff of fiction novels or reality.

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