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My Invisible Husband
I wrote this along with two other talented people. We used to call ourselves the Poetic Flava Family. It's been awhile since we collaborated.
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Famous Quotes
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the
hell happened. -- Cora Harvey Armstrong
Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually
shut the b-tch up with cookies. -- (Unknown)
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. --Helen Hayes (at 73)
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray
eyebrows. --Janette Barber
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. --Lily Tomlin
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. --Carrie Snow
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your
girlfriends. --Laurie Kuslansky
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first one being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. --Erma Bombeck
Old age ain't no place for sissies.--Bette Davis
A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he
can't. --Rhonda Hansome
The phrase "working mother" is redundant. --Jane Sellman
Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the
windows. --Jennifer Unlimited
Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be
thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. --Charlotte Whitton
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body
starts falling apart. --Caryn Leschen
I try to take one day at a time but sometimes several days attack me at once. --Jennifer Unlimited
If you can't be a good example then you'll just have to be a
horrible warning. --Catherine
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not
dumb and I'm also not blonde. --Dolly Parton
If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. --Sue Grafton
I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. --Roseanne Barr
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade
another country. --Elayne Boosler
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. --Maryon Pearson
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want
anything done, ask a woman. --Margaret Thatcher
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage
and a career. --Gloria Steinem
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his
house. --Zsa Zsa Gabor
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. --Eleanor Roosevelt
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Something a Friend Sent Me (Is She Really My Friend?)
Are you tired of all those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that really speaks to true friendship:
1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.
6. When you are confused - I will use little words.
7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
This is my oath...I pledge it till the end. "Why?" you may ask, because you are my friend. Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of 4.
Remember: A good friend will help you move and a really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.
P.S. - Since I don't have 10 friends (hee hee), I thought I would post it here. Tag, Now you're it.
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Who is Byron Matthews?
Byron...Jason George
He's the man who vows to help Nikki, even if it means making certain sacrifices. If you have read My Invisible Husband, then chime in and ask questions about Byron.
P.S. - All week, characters of My Invisible Husband will appear on the blog.
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ASK NIKKI
Who is Nicolette Montana?
Let's have some fun this week. If you have read My Invisible Husband,
then chime in and tell us your thoughts about Nicolette (NIKKI).
All week, characters of My Invisible Husband will appear on the blog.
Can you see Sanaa Lathan playing Nikki?
Shelia Goss interviewed Nicolette Montana days before her trip to
Las Vegas. Find out what this woman did "all in the name of love."
Shelia Goss: Please introduce yourself.
Nikki Montana: My name is Nicolette Montana but everyone calls me Nikki.
I am 34 years old and as far as everyone knows, I'm engaged.
Shelia: Congratulations. When is the big day?
Nikki: Soon. Very Soon.
Shelia: Will it be here in Dallas?
Nikki: No. It'll be in Las Vegas. I can't wait to get away.
Shelia: What advice would you give other women who are in their 30s and
have never been married?
Nikki: If you find a man that you love and the feelings are reciprocated,
go for it. Otherwise, don't let your age cause you to bow down to the
pressure.
Shelia: Were you pressured?
Nikki: Uh. Well. No. I just felt the need to share that with your readers.
Shelia: Tell us something special about your relationship.
Nikki: Where do I begin? He's everything I've dreamed of. He treats me
like a queen and he's good eye-candy.
Shelia: If you could change anything about your relationship, what would
it be?
Nikki: I wish he didn't travel as much.
Shelia: Do you think having a good sense of humor is important in a
relationship.
Nikki: Yes. Very. Once we get married, he'll be away so much - I've
already started calling him My Invisible Husband.
Remember the game charades? Nicolette Montana has taken the game a step
further. Get the scoop in My Invisible Husband...before anyone else does.
Is there anything else you would ask Nikki?
What does she and Jennifer Wilbanks, the real runaway bride,
have in common?
Ask Nikki?
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Here's the MY INVISIBLE HUSBAND All Star "Wish" Cast.
Nicolette Montana…….Sanaa Lathan
Byron Matthews………..Taye Diggs or Jason George
Charlotte……………….Nia Long or Jada Pinkett-Smith
Fredrick………..………Mike Epps
Joyce…………………….Sherri Shephard
Tara…………………..….Gabrielle Union
Mya………………………Golden Brooks
Gerald……………………LL Cool J
April………………………Tamala Jones
Jerry………………………Duane Martin
Janice………………………Tisha Campbell
Pam………………………Queen Latifah
Louis…………………….. Cress Williams
Adrienne…………………Vanessa Williams
Edward………………….. Eric LaSalle
Kenneth Capers…………..Sean Maguire
Ethel, Nikki’s mom……… Janet Hubert-Whitten
Napoleon, Nikki’s dad……James Avery
Belle, Byron’s mom………Lynn Whitfield
Frank, Byron’s dad……….Clifton Powell
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Roses are Thorns Cast Wish List
If you've read the book, take a look at the cast list and tell me if you agree with the actor choices. If you haven't read it, trust me when I say it is drama-filled. These twin sisters will have you rooting for one, while hating the other. To read a chapter excerpt from the book, go to this link: http://www.sheliagoss.com/rosesexcerpt.htm.
Rose & Violet.....Halle Berry (dual role) or Vivica Fox (dual role)
David..............Blair Underwood
Lance King........Shemar Moore
Carmen............Mo’nique or Queen Latifah
Marcus.............Boris Kodjoe
Terrence...........Morris Chestnut
Janice King........Sanaa Lathan, or Jada Pinkett-Smith
Mother of Twins...Lynn Whitfield
Father of Twins...Clifton Powell
Aunt Mae..........Jennifer Lewis
Carlton............Steve Harvey or Anthony Anderson
Trey Dash..........Bill Bellamy
Pierre.............Terrence Howard
Audrey.............Regina King
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C stands for Cheater
The old saying "it takes two to tango" holds true for cheating. Have you ever met a guy and knew he was offlimits, but still felt the need to get to know him better? Did you trick yourself into believing you could just be friends, but ended up in between the sheets? Did he make false promises saying that his wife or girlfriend doesn't understand him and he can't wait to get rid of them for you?
If you've ever found yourself in any of the above situations, you are an enabler. You have enabled the man to cheat. How? Well, knowing upfront that a man is involved should have been a sign to you that he is "no good." Grant it, he might be good in between the sheets, but morally, if he cheats on the woman he has at home with you, then first of all he has little respect for you.
Why be with a man that doesn't respect you? If he doesn't respect you, he will treat you like a trick. Oh, he might be spending some benjamins on you, but honey child, where is the respect?
Ask yourself, if you were the woman, would you like the fact that your man is out sleeping with someone else? You already know the answer to that is not NO, but in the words of Whitney, "Hell to the Naw."
So the next time a man who has a wife or girlfriend offer you his love (a/k/a the beef) without hesitation, tell him you're not the one and if that doesn't work, threaten to kick him in the balls. Okay, that might be a little extreme, but you get the point.
C stands for Cheater--don't be an enabler.
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If you're not 18 or older, then please stop now and get off this blog. This post is for a mature audience only.
Today's poll rates your sex life. How kinky is your sex life?
Be honest. To take the poll, click here:
http://www.hotlanta.com/kinktest.htm
Post your scores here.
My score came back as:
101 to 200: You have an average sex life in need of kink.
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12 TYPES OF MEN
Since this is a blog where we discuss relationships, I thought I would post this here. If you any man from your past or present fit into one of the 12 categories, please share.
1. MR. THUG LIFE
Advantages
a. Real good at making love
b. Fun and exciting
c. Makes you laugh
d. Has your back, will fight and protect you
Disadvantages
a. Usually drinks and smokes too much
b. Always got drama
c Stays a thug forever
d. In and out of jail
2. MR. NAW, I DON`T HAVE A GIRL
Advantages
a. Will take you out in the beginning
b. Will introduce you to all his friends
c. Compliments you all the time
Disadvantages
a. Has a girlfriend who he`s been with since the 2nd grade
b. Will not get rid of her
c. He tells you about her after you`ve fallen in love with his *bleep*
3. MR. BIG BALLA
Advantages
a. Will give you money with no questions asked
b. Has alot of style to him
c. Will show you some of the nice things in life
Disadvantages
a. Never returns your pages
b. Feels he can come to your house at any given time without calling first
c. Loves to be around his boys more than you.
4. MR. I`M IN THE INDUSTRY
Advantages
a. Can get you and your friends on the guest list at all the jumpin parties
b. Can have a decent stimulating conversation
c. Tends to dress nice
Disadvantages
a. You don`t know if he`s gay, straight or bi
b. Seems flighty when you speak of a solid commitment
c. You still have to wait in line to get in all the jumpin parties, then
there`s drama at the door
d. All he has is a bunch of pictures with celebrities but he doesn`t know
any of them personally
5. MR. INTELLECTUAL
Advantages
a. Book smart
b. Cares about how you feel
c. Has a very good job
Disadvantages
a. Boring as hell
b. Doesn`t know what the hell he`s doin in bed
c. He is not street smart
d. Always asking you when can he see you again
6. MR. GHETTO
Advantages
a. THE BOMB IN BED!!!!!
b. Makes you laugh
c. Got mad style and flava
d. Has a temper, but generally a charming sweet guy
e. Says he wants a real relationship
Disadvantages
a. He got 3 or more baby momma's
b. Wants to lay up in your crib, use the phone, and eat up al l the food
c. Is in denial when you tell him about himself
d. Comes home at 3:00 am and says he was out with his boys
7. MR. I`M A RIGHTEOUS BLACK MAN
Advantages
a. Will teach you about black history
b. Revolutionary
c. Inspiring & gives to you spiritually & emotionally
d. Wants a wife and family
Disadvantages
a. Breaks up with you for a white girl
b. No money-doesn`t have a job
c. Doesn`t own a nice suit, always wearing camouflage and oils
d. In the end, you find out he is just a trifling, con motha*bleep*a
8. MR. TOO DAMN GOOD
Advantages
a. Will introduce you to his mother
b. Has a job and will take you out
c. Will give you money for your bills if you need it
d. Sometimes he goes to church on Sunday
Disadvantages
a. Sometimes he goes to church on Sunday
b. Secretly wants to be Mr. Thug Life
c. Wears fake Movado & Rolex watches when he goes to the club
d. Ignores you when the game is on because he takes sports too serious - He
didn`t make it professionally
e. You find out after you break up with him that he was cheating on you
9. MR. PLAYA
Advantages
a. Will tell you the truth - that you`re not the only one
b. Sometimes he`s fairly decent in bed
c. He tells you that you` ve changed him and he`s ready to settle down
d. Has his own apartment and car (invites you to move in with him)
Disadvantages
a. He doesn`t acknowledge you in public, especially if there are women
around
b. Generally he is a punk (won`t stand up for anything)
c. He expects you to believe all his lies just because he told you the
truth about other women
d After you catch his lyin` *bleep*, he tells you that he told you that he
was a playa in the beginning anyway
10. MR. I HAVE A JOB
Advantages
a. Of course.... he has a job
b. Doesn`t have too many bad habits
c. Will take care of you when you`re sick
d Tells you that he is in love with you
Disadvantages
a. You stay in the relationship 2 years or m ore and then find out he`s a
shiftless, lazy son-of-a-*bleep* who wants you to do all the wifely duties
but won`t give you a ring
b. He ends up telling you that he loves you, but is not "in love" with you
c. After he leaves you he gets married a month later
11. MR. BEST FRIEND
Advantages
a. He`s your best friend, you tell each other everything; you get along
very, very well
b. He gives you advice when you and your man are having problems
c. The ultimate gentleman
d. Sweet and caring with a good sense of humor
Disadvantages
a. You end up hooking up with him only to find he ain`t about *bleep*
either!
b. Now, you gotta find a new best friend because you can`t stand his
*bleep*
no more
12. MR. RIGHT
Advantages
a. He loves God and takes his relationship with God seriously
b. He is intellectual, brilliant, and capable of taking you there mentally
and emotionally
c. He will love you even when you are not lovable
d. He has a career and not a job!
e. He acknowledges his faults and strives to be a better man
f. He understands a relationship is built on a 200% quota - 100% him and
100% you
g. He doesn`t have a bunch of kids and babies mommas - he`s smarter than
that
h. He is a true best friend
i. He was cute when you met him. But, after spending sometime you see he`s
fine as hell!
j. He can dress - knows the difference b/t formal, semi-formal,
professional, business casual, casual, and since we are just chilling let
me throw on some sweats and a fitted hat
h. He loves his mother and respects women
Disadvantages
a. You`ve never met him and if you did he already has a girl/wife.
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Time Heals All Wounds
Why is the phrase “time heals all wounds” such a common thing said to a person when they are going through a breakup or any type of loss? During the time of distress, it’s hard for the human mind to phantom the concept that as hours pass, days pass, weeks pass, and months pass, the hurt and pain will no longer be as intense.
From experience, I’ve learned that the pain does lose its sting. The thoughts of yesterday or not as intense. The hurt, if dealt with properly, becomes an afterthought eventually. So the next time someone tells you “time heals all wounds” don’t look at them crazy because it does.
In order to get to that level however, you have to take an active role in your healing. What is the source of the pain? Are you willing to learn and grow from the experience? How can your life be better from experiencing this depressing time? Try to think of positive ways to get yourself through. Read your Bible, pray, surround yourself with positive enhancers—people, affirmations, etc.
Have you ever had an experience where you didn’t think you would make it through—but obviously you did (smile)? Please share.
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My Life from A to Z
A - Age: late 30s (now you don't think I would actually tell you the exact number did you? smile)
B - Best Friend: They know who they are (didn't name you hear, just in case I left someone out by accident or on purpose)
C - Choice of Meat: Beef
D - Dream Date: hmm...let me think on this one...I better not say, just in case someone's reading this blog and he's not my dream date.
E - Exciting Adventure: taking a cruise on the Nile River and visiting the pyramids in Egypt
F - Favorite Food: chicken fetticine alfredo, bar b que, steak
G - Greatest Accomplishment: Ask me this in about a year (smile)
H - Happiest Day of Your Life: Every day because every day is a blessing
I - Interests: Writing, Reading, Travelling, Surfing the Net, Chatting with Friends (online/offline)
J - Joke: Couldn't tell a joke, even if you gave me the punch line.
K - Kool-Aid: Any variation of RED
L - Love: A few weeks ago, I would have said, I'll never fall in love again. Now, I know that falling in love again is possible.
M - Most Valued possession: duh...my computer
N - Name: no, my mom did not spell my name wrong...it's s-h-e-l-i-a...not the other way.
O - Outfit You Love: lime green floral dress with ruffles that I get compliments on every time I wear it...and I have to admit, I do look good in it (and I must, because I don't normally come out and say I look good in something...I know, I need to get over my complex problem).
P - Pizza Toppings: pepporoni and sausage
Q - Question Asked To You the Most: It's a tie: When are you getting married or Why you don't have any kids?
R - Radio Station: XM Radio
S - Sport: Basketball...will watch Football if I'm with a guy I really REALLY like
T - Television Show: Monday nights--all shows on UPN, CSI-MIAMI/LAS VEGAS, Eve, Loves Inc, Everybody Hates Chris
U - Umbrella in the rain?: Now you know I can't get the hair wet.
V - Video: The Color Purple, Fridays, The Best Man, Two Can Play that Game, etc
W - Winter: Love it if I can be cuddled up with some sexy guy
X - X-rays recently?: that's a little too personal...but NO.
Y - Year Born: okay, this goes back to the letter "A"...if I told you the year, you would do the math...so let's just say it was in the 1900's
Z - Zodiac Sign: Virgo--and you know this.
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Two shoes on my wish list...nothing else needs to be said
Louis Vuitton makes more than purses :)
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List of Three Things
THREE THINGS I DON’T UNDERSTAND:
[1] Why does it matter that I'm over 30, not married and don't have kids?
[2] Why does a man you've been with for 3 years act like you are total strangers?
[3] Why did I let myself get tagged twice and finally resorted to doing the "list of 3 things?"
THREE THINGS ON MY DESK:
[1] my cds (Lil Kim, Charlie Wilson, Fantasia, Mariah Carey, Bonnie Rait...yes, I like country too)
[2] my cell phone
[3] a couple of books
THREE THINGS I’M DOING RIGHT NOW:
[1] watching the Martha Stewart Movie on Lifetime
[2] text messaging a friend because he's at work and not supposed to be using the phone
[3] blogging
THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
[1] do what I was put on earth to do
[2] marry the man God has for me
[3] enjoy life to the fullest (don't you think all 3 are obtainable? I do)
THREE THINGS I CAN DO:
[1] Write (I hope that's not being conceited)
[2] Be a good listener (I always try to be a good friend and listen)
[3] Cook (I don't tell too many folks because that's when they want you to cook every time they see you).
THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:
[1] Caring (I tried being hardcore, but not in my nature.)
[2] Straightforward (Why beat around the bush? Too old to play games, so don't ask a question, if you don't want an answer.)
[3] Laidback (Life is what it is.)
THREE THINGS I CAN’T DO:
[1] fake the funk (If you don't like me and I don't like you; why are we holding senseless conversation? It's a waste of time; so I don't fake the funk. I speak and go on about my business...my time is precious and I would think yours was too).
[2] deal with the haters (If you hate people, don't talk to me...please pass me by. Stop hating and do your own thing.)
[3] go back with an ex (especially one who acted like an a-hole and now thinks things are cool again and wants to come back...once the a-hole in you comes out, there's no going back sucka.)
THREE THINGS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO:
[1] Fantasia's CD (5 stars)
[2] Mariah Carey's CD (5 stars)
[3] Lil' Kim's CD (5 stars...I know you're shocked that I listen to rap...but I had to see what the Queen B was talking about...loved the beats...lyrics were on point...minus the cussing).
THREE THINGS I DON’T THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO EVER:
[1] The Haters (If they hate on someone else today, believe me, you'll be on the list to hate on the next day).
[2] people who don't have your best interest at heart (weigh what they are saying...take what you need and ignore the rest).
[3] your boyfriends mother...she either wants you two to get back together because she likes you or she doesn't want you two to get back together because she hates you...so why is she even involved in the relationship between you and your man??? Okay, I went on a temper tantrum here :)
THREE THINGS YOU SAY:
[1] Oh no they didn't
[2] Smooches
[3] To live is to love and to love is to live.--Shelia M Goss (Yes, you can quote me...smile).
THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS:
[1] Teacakes and Banana Pudding is a tie
[2] Chicken Fetticine Alfredo
[3] Bar B Que
THREE THINGS YOU’D LIKE TO LEARN:
[1] produce a movie
[2] record a song
[3] how to ride a horse (get your mind out of the gutter...I'm talking about ponies...you know with four legs).
THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY:
[1] water
[2] orange juice
[3] sprite
THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID:
[1] Leave it to Beaver
[2] Sesame Street
[3] Captain Kangaroo
THREE THINGS YOU WISH PEOPLE WOULD LEARN TO DO:
[1] be courteous (it won't hurt you to say excuse me if you almost ran over my foot with your buggy)
[2] smile more (why frown all of the time...life isn't that bad...and if it was, you wouldn't be able to get around like you do)
[3] read more (open yourselves up to a new world...there are plenty of good authors out there...yes, this is a shameless plug...smile)
If your name has an "O" or an "I" in it, you've been tagged :). Hey, Princess Dominique and Living Single got me, so I had to pass the love on to you.
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You Asked, I Answered
Reporting Live from Behind the Pen
Shaye’s question: What was your inspiration for your next novel?
The idea for My Three Beaus came to me in a dream. When I woke up, I got up and wrote a short blurb about it and less than a year later, I finally sat down to write the story. Paige C. Webb is a figment of my imagination. She’s a woman who’s not afraid to live life on the edge. She’s confident, yet insecure at the same time. She’s a good example of how a woman can date multiple men, but not be physically intimate with them all. She also shows that women have commitment issues too.
Yolanda’s questions: (a) I am currently reading your book, My Invisible Husband and I am loving it. I want to know, what type of research you do for your novels?
Most of my ideas for my books hit me while I’m sleeping. I dream movies and if I get up the next morning and write the idea down, it stays with me. I don’t really do detailed research for my novels. I let the characters do their thing. For my first novel, Roses are Thorns, Violets are True I did a little research to see if it was realistic for twins to be at odds and once I found out that there were statistics to support it, I allowed the twins to have their way. If you’ve read the book, then you’ll know that these two sisters—Rose and Violet are like oil and water—they don’t mix. But because those characters were meant to be at odds, I would have written it that way even if the statistics didn’t show that sibling rivalry exists amongst twins. My Invisible Husband stemmed from one question that I’ve heard over and over…”So, when are you getting married?” I’ve either lived or visited most of the places I mention in my novels. It helps to have been there when writing those scenes.
(b) Also, I'd like to know how you decided on your publisher and if you think you are a perfect fit?
Believe it or not, I’m self-published. I’ve been blessed. I’ve received many accolades as a self-published author. Being on the Essence Bestsellers list, the Dallas Morning News Bestsellers list and also being mentioned in national publications such as the New York Times and Writer’s Digest are a feat for any author. To know that it has happened while self-published brings tears to my eyes sometimes. I am currently in search of a publishing home. So if there are any publishers out there looking for an author who can write exciting stories with a twist, email me (smile).
(c) Do you use any writing software? If so, which one?
I don’t use any writing software. All I need is my keyboard, Microsoft Word, and a good CD and I’m good to go.
Anonymous’ questions: (a)What do you think about the current state of AA industry?
The AA industry is changing. Only time will tell whether it’s for the best or not. Being optimistic, I think it is. There’s a huge audience for AA fiction, so I’m excited about the recent news.
(b) Do you think there is a lack of creativity in some of the writers (referring to the number of books that have a similar plot)?
What’s that old saying, “There’s nothing new under the sun.” 50 authors in 50 places in the world can have the same idea, but it’s how they tell the story that makes it interesting. Let’s use the model example girl meets boy, girl/boy breaks up with boy/girl, girl and boy reunite. I’ve read this type of situation over and over, but what makes me want to read the same type of story again and again is the author’s ability to take a used concept and make it theirs. I think an author has to have their own writing style and if they do, then even if they use a similar plot such as in the example above, the reader will find the story interesting.
Janice-NYC’s questions: (a)My Invisible Husband is about a woman that pretends to be engaged and then married and your new book My Three Beaus is about a woman afraid of commitment and ends up with three marriage proposals. My question to you…do you ever feel pressured by family or friends comments about not being married and not having children?
No, I don’t feel any pressure. It can get annoying to hear “so when are you getting married,” but there’s no pressure. Why? Because I’m the one who has to live with the consequences. If I had gotten married to the last guy I was with, I would be going through a divorce right now. As far as kids, I don’t have any. I wanted to be married first and then kids; but since I haven’t been married, I haven’t been trying to have kids.
(b) Do you desire these things, or are you content as you are?
I’m content and confident that the man God has for me is out there and will find me. In the meantime, I believe in living life to the fullest. I’m back on the dating scene and taking it one day at a time. Not having kids right now is a blessing. I have a niece and three nephews to pour my motherly affections on and when I get tired, I can always send them back home to their mamas (smile).
Mahaira’s questions: (a) Looking back was there something in particular that helped you to decide to become a writer?
I think it would have happened eventually. I got my first diary when I was 9 and I’ve been writing every since. Originally I had planned on being a professional writer when I retired. But life is full of changes, so in 1997 (after losing my Dad…Princess Di’s tragic death), a revelation hit me to pursue it. I started off sharing my poetry with others and then I felt more confident and started sharing my short stories. Readers feedback was positive and then I finally got the nerves to write novels.
(b) Did you choose it or did the profession choose you?
The profession must have chosen me. I originally went to school to be an Engineer.
(c) If you were stranded on a desert island and had your pick of anyone to be stranded with, who would it be?
The man God has for me—whoever he may be.
(d) What three items would you HAVE to have?
My Bible, a laptop with a solar powered battery so I can journal my experience and hopefully it’ll come with a little black box—that seems to never be destroyed, and a pair of shoes (because I would hate to walk barefooted all of the time…smile).
If you could meet one of your characters, which one would it be?
Byron in My Invisible Husband. He has all the characteristics I want in a man.
Michelle’s question: If you could enact any fantasy you have, what would it be?
I don’t know if I can post it here (my mama might log on…smile). I’ll keep it clean.
My fantasy would be to have a nice romantic life not just dinner with Shemar Moore, Morris ChestNut, Blair Underwood, or Denzel Washington. Use your imagination.
Leah’s question: What's been the most disappointing thing you've encountered in regards to writing and publishing?
Waiting on a major publisher to take notice. But I decided a long time ago to take a chance on myself and I’m so glad I did. Right now I don’t have anything to prove. I’ve already proven that I can get on bestsellers lists. And that’s with a limited distribution channel. So if it was a broader distribution channel, the sky is the limit (smile).
2 your rant or rave
ASK ME ANYTHING FRIDAY
Ask me anything and I will answer it here on the blog. Check back on Monday to see my responses--I promise...you can leave your name or leave one anonymously...I'm not scared (smile). I look forward to your questions.
Shelia
7 your rant or rave
Thought for Today: WEALTH OF YOUR SPIRIT
The wealth of my spirit is the light of my world.---"Acts of Faith"
0 your rant or rave
A Little Humor: Fall CLASSES FOR MEN
AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY **October 30th
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.*
**Class 1
**How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide
Presentation.
**Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
**The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
**Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
**Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.
**Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
**Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
**Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
**After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
**Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM
Class 6
**Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
**Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
**Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum**.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
**Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
**Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
**Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
**Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10
**Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
**4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
**Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing**.*
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined*
**Class 12
**How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
**Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13
**How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and
Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
**Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
**Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.*
*Class 14
**The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
**Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
**Upon completion of any of the above courses,*
*diplomas will be issued to the survivors.*
1 your rant or rave
HOW FAR WOULD YOU GO TO PLEASE YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS?
The fiction world that was created around Nicolette Montana pales in comparison to the real life drama Jennifer Wilbanks - The Runaway Bride has imposed on her family and friends.
I would love to find out what's going on in Jennifer's mind. Why did she go to the EXTREME to NOT get married? So many unanswered questions, but we'll all soon know the answers to those two and so much more.
I guess a simple interview could have answered those questions, but as someone mentioned online, everybody wants their fifteen minutes of fame. I ain't mad at her, but I wouldn't recommend anyone else doing something so outrageous.
Leave the Drama to the fiction characters, like Nikki.
Some would say that Nikki's world is unrealistic, but once again, Jennifer Wilbanks proves that someone's fiction, is another person's reality.
Remember the game charades? Nicolette(Nikki) Montana has taken the game a step further. Get the scoop in My Invisible Husband...before anyone else does.
My Invisible Husband - A Story With a Twist
0 your rant or rave
What My Ex Would Say about Me (Prior to the Break-up)
(Fact or Fiction...you be the judge).
Shelia, the love of my life, has become my best friend. Our deep conversations always excite me. Sometimes I feel like I know her like the back of my hand, but then there are times, that I realize that there are still so much more to learn about her. She’s simple, but yet complex.
I know that she is one of the most giving and down to earth ladies you’ll ever want to meet. I fell in love with her spirit before knowing her in the physical. Her generous heart allowed me to be myself and find joy in the simplest things in life. I call her my quiet storm. She will do what ever she can to help you, but if she feels that you’re trying to take advantage of her generosity, she can be hell on wheels. I told her when we first met that she should be more cautious, because some people will push you to the limit. I’m glad to say that she finally learned the art of saying no and she no longer feels guilty about those times that she can’t help.
Shelia's a little adventurous too. Most women don’t travel by themselves, but she seemed to do it on a regular basis. It appears that we both love to travel.
We both have been to most of the major US cities, taken cruises, as well as toured places such as, Jamaica, Bahamas, and Mexico. We both agreed that Paradise Island in the Bahamas and Grand Cayman Islands are places that we would like to see again, but this time together.
Overall, we have a good relationship. Sometimes when she’s feeling insecure about herself, I try to be there to encourage her. Although she’s a very beautiful and talented woman, she doesn’t feel that way all of the time. In her mind, she thinks that something is wrong with her, just because she’s not the perfect size 10. Well, like I told her, who said size 10 was perfect. In my eyes, she’s one fine woman. I like my women with a little meat on the bones and besides, her curves are all in the right places. Some women spend thousands of dollars to get the boobs that she has been so richly blessed with. Okay, I can go on and on about those, so let me stop here.
Would my ex have really said some of those things above? Hmm. I don't know. I wouldn't dare post what he would say about me now...lol, he would probably use the B word to describe my Diva like attitude. Okay, I'm having a venting moment, so let me get offline and stop telling my business in cyberspace.
Being nosy, what would one of your exes say about you?
2 your rant or rave
Saturday, October 29, 2005
I wrote this along with two other talented people. We used to call ourselves the Poetic Flava Family. It's been awhile since we collaborated.
"THE HIGHWAY OF LOVE AND, PAIN"
By Shelia M Goss~Markess A Wilder~Miguel A Wilder
I drove down heartbreak avenue, made a left on teardrop lane.
Hung a right on forsaken boulevard, and went through two streets.... ache, and pain.
I stopped at the lonely people intersection, then turned on a street called falling apart.
I must have made a wrong turn...on the way to your heart.
It must have been a dead-end, so I had to put my love in reverse.
Before doing that, I ran over something that made my heart want to burst.
I ran over a few aches and pains, then I decided it was time to change lanes.
So here I go again, driving down heartbreak lane.
Even though the road ahead is rough I'll Keep pressing on through the night.
My vision is blurred, and my body is tired but I'll keep moving towards the light.
Through road blocks, and detours
I search for my salvation.
I'll go on until I hit empty, or reach my destination.
I have been driving around for hours, so I pulled into this store.
The sign said broken promises, now where have I heard that name before?
I must be going in circles, this store is on that same street, falling apart.
I know I made a wrong turn on the way to your heart.
I did a U-turn and decided to go down another street.
I thought I was headed in the right direction, when my body started to over heat.
The steam finally dissolved itself and I knew it wasn't love.
So I must put a stop to this madness, before I hit another curve.
I've gotten lost before and the next love won't be in this direction.
The signs on the side of the road have taught me a lesson.
The next road I take, will not be the same.
I'm not giving up on finding it, I'm going back to lover's lane.
I'm off the back roads now, headed for the highway.
I'm just going to cruise on until the road stops, from now on I'm doing things my way.
Good-bye broken promises, as the neon light fades in the rear view.
No more looking back, because up ahead I have a clear view...
I stopped at the lonely people intersection, then turned on a street called falling apart.
I must have made a wrong turn...on the way to your heart.
It must have been a dead-end, so I had to put my love in reverse.
Before doing that, I ran over something that made my heart want to burst.
I ran over a few aches and pains, then I decided it was time to change lanes.
So here I go again, driving down heartbreak lane.
Even though the road ahead is rough I'll Keep pressing on through the night.
My vision is blurred, and my body is tired but I'll keep moving towards the light.
Through road blocks, and detours
I search for my salvation.I'll go on until I hit empty, or reach my destination.
I have been driving around for hours, so I pulled into this store.
The sign said broken promises, now where have I heard that name before?
I must be going in circles, this store is on that same street, falling apart.
I know I made a wrong turn on the way to your heart.
I did a U-turn and decided to go down another street.
I thought I was headed in the right direction, when my body started to over heat.
The steam finally dissolved itself and I knew it wasn't love.
So I must put a stop to this madness, before I hit another curve.
I've gotten lost before and the next love won't be in this direction.
The signs on the side of the road have taught me a lesson.
The next road I take, will not be the same.
I'm not giving up on finding it, I'm going back to lover's lane.
I'm off the back roads now, headed for the highway.
I'm just going to cruise on until the road stops, from now on I'm doing things my way.
Good-bye broken promises, as the neon light fades in the rear view.
No more looking back, because up ahead I have a clear view...
Copyright AUGUST 31, 1998 by Markess A Wilder~Shelia M Goss~Miguel A Wilder Of The Poetic Flava Family
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the
hell happened. -- Cora Harvey Armstrong
Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually
shut the b-tch up with cookies. -- (Unknown)
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. --Helen Hayes (at 73)
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray
eyebrows. --Janette Barber
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. --Lily Tomlin
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. --Carrie Snow
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your
girlfriends. --Laurie Kuslansky
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first one being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. --Erma Bombeck
Old age ain't no place for sissies.--Bette Davis
A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he
can't. --Rhonda Hansome
The phrase "working mother" is redundant. --Jane Sellman
Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the
windows. --Jennifer Unlimited
Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be
thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. --Charlotte Whitton
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body
starts falling apart. --Caryn Leschen
I try to take one day at a time but sometimes several days attack me at once. --Jennifer Unlimited
If you can't be a good example then you'll just have to be a
horrible warning. --Catherine
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not
dumb and I'm also not blonde. --Dolly Parton
If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. --Sue Grafton
I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. --Roseanne Barr
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade
another country. --Elayne Boosler
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. --Maryon Pearson
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want
anything done, ask a woman. --Margaret Thatcher
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage
and a career. --Gloria Steinem
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his
house. --Zsa Zsa Gabor
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. --Eleanor Roosevelt
Are you tired of all those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that really speaks to true friendship:
1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.
6. When you are confused - I will use little words.
7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
This is my oath...I pledge it till the end. "Why?" you may ask, because you are my friend. Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of 4.
Remember: A good friend will help you move and a really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.
P.S. - Since I don't have 10 friends (hee hee), I thought I would post it here. Tag, Now you're it.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Byron...Jason George
He's the man who vows to help Nikki, even if it means making certain sacrifices. If you have read My Invisible Husband, then chime in and ask questions about Byron.P.S. - All week, characters of My Invisible Husband will appear on the blog.
Monday, October 24, 2005
Who is Nicolette Montana?
Let's have some fun this week. If you have read My Invisible Husband,
then chime in and tell us your thoughts about Nicolette (NIKKI).
All week, characters of My Invisible Husband will appear on the blog.
Can you see Sanaa Lathan playing Nikki?
Shelia Goss interviewed Nicolette Montana days before her trip to
Las Vegas. Find out what this woman did "all in the name of love."
Shelia Goss: Please introduce yourself.
Nikki Montana: My name is Nicolette Montana but everyone calls me Nikki.
I am 34 years old and as far as everyone knows, I'm engaged.
Shelia: Congratulations. When is the big day?
Nikki: Soon. Very Soon.
Shelia: Will it be here in Dallas?
Nikki: No. It'll be in Las Vegas. I can't wait to get away.
Shelia: What advice would you give other women who are in their 30s and
have never been married?
Nikki: If you find a man that you love and the feelings are reciprocated,
go for it. Otherwise, don't let your age cause you to bow down to the
pressure.
Shelia: Were you pressured?
Nikki: Uh. Well. No. I just felt the need to share that with your readers.
Shelia: Tell us something special about your relationship.
Nikki: Where do I begin? He's everything I've dreamed of. He treats me
like a queen and he's good eye-candy.
Shelia: If you could change anything about your relationship, what would
it be?
Nikki: I wish he didn't travel as much.
Shelia: Do you think having a good sense of humor is important in a
relationship.
Nikki: Yes. Very. Once we get married, he'll be away so much - I've
already started calling him My Invisible Husband.
Remember the game charades? Nicolette Montana has taken the game a step
further. Get the scoop in My Invisible Husband...before anyone else does.
Is there anything else you would ask Nikki?
What does she and Jennifer Wilbanks, the real runaway bride,
have in common?
Ask Nikki?
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Here's the MY INVISIBLE HUSBAND All Star "Wish" Cast.
Nicolette Montana…….Sanaa Lathan
Byron Matthews………..Taye Diggs or Jason George
Charlotte……………….Nia Long or Jada Pinkett-Smith
Fredrick………..………Mike Epps
Joyce…………………….Sherri Shephard
Tara…………………..….Gabrielle Union
Mya………………………Golden Brooks
Gerald……………………LL Cool J
April………………………Tamala Jones
Jerry………………………Duane Martin
Janice………………………Tisha Campbell
Pam………………………Queen Latifah
Louis…………………….. Cress Williams
Adrienne…………………Vanessa Williams
Edward………………….. Eric LaSalle
Kenneth Capers…………..Sean Maguire
Ethel, Nikki’s mom……… Janet Hubert-Whitten
Napoleon, Nikki’s dad……James Avery
Belle, Byron’s mom………Lynn Whitfield
Frank, Byron’s dad……….Clifton Powell
Friday, October 21, 2005
If you've read the book, take a look at the cast list and tell me if you agree with the actor choices. If you haven't read it, trust me when I say it is drama-filled. These twin sisters will have you rooting for one, while hating the other. To read a chapter excerpt from the book, go to this link: http://www.sheliagoss.com/rosesexcerpt.htm.
Rose & Violet.....Halle Berry (dual role) or Vivica Fox (dual role)
David..............Blair Underwood
Lance King........Shemar Moore
Carmen............Mo’nique or Queen Latifah
Marcus.............Boris Kodjoe
Terrence...........Morris Chestnut
Janice King........Sanaa Lathan, or Jada Pinkett-Smith
Mother of Twins...Lynn Whitfield
Father of Twins...Clifton Powell
Aunt Mae..........Jennifer Lewis
Carlton............Steve Harvey or Anthony Anderson
Trey Dash..........Bill Bellamy
Pierre.............Terrence Howard
Audrey.............Regina King
Thursday, October 20, 2005
The old saying "it takes two to tango" holds true for cheating. Have you ever met a guy and knew he was offlimits, but still felt the need to get to know him better? Did you trick yourself into believing you could just be friends, but ended up in between the sheets? Did he make false promises saying that his wife or girlfriend doesn't understand him and he can't wait to get rid of them for you?
If you've ever found yourself in any of the above situations, you are an enabler. You have enabled the man to cheat. How? Well, knowing upfront that a man is involved should have been a sign to you that he is "no good." Grant it, he might be good in between the sheets, but morally, if he cheats on the woman he has at home with you, then first of all he has little respect for you.
Why be with a man that doesn't respect you? If he doesn't respect you, he will treat you like a trick. Oh, he might be spending some benjamins on you, but honey child, where is the respect?
Ask yourself, if you were the woman, would you like the fact that your man is out sleeping with someone else? You already know the answer to that is not NO, but in the words of Whitney, "Hell to the Naw."
So the next time a man who has a wife or girlfriend offer you his love (a/k/a the beef) without hesitation, tell him you're not the one and if that doesn't work, threaten to kick him in the balls. Okay, that might be a little extreme, but you get the point.
C stands for Cheater--don't be an enabler.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Rated M for a Mature Audience
If you're not 18 or older, then please stop now and get off this blog. This post is for a mature audience only.
Today's poll rates your sex life. How kinky is your sex life?
Be honest. To take the poll, click here:
http://www.hotlanta.com/kinktest.htm
Post your scores here.
My score came back as:
101 to 200: You have an average sex life in need of kink.
I'm not saying if I agree or not, but maybe if Mr. Right is in the horizon, he can add some spice to my life.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Since this is a blog where we discuss relationships, I thought I would post this here. If you any man from your past or present fit into one of the 12 categories, please share.
1. MR. THUG LIFE
Advantages
a. Real good at making love
b. Fun and exciting
c. Makes you laugh
d. Has your back, will fight and protect you
Disadvantages
a. Usually drinks and smokes too much
b. Always got drama
c Stays a thug forever
d. In and out of jail
2. MR. NAW, I DON`T HAVE A GIRL
Advantages
a. Will take you out in the beginning
b. Will introduce you to all his friends
c. Compliments you all the time
Disadvantages
a. Has a girlfriend who he`s been with since the 2nd grade
b. Will not get rid of her
c. He tells you about her after you`ve fallen in love with his *bleep*
3. MR. BIG BALLA
Advantages
a. Will give you money with no questions asked
b. Has alot of style to him
c. Will show you some of the nice things in life
Disadvantages
a. Never returns your pages
b. Feels he can come to your house at any given time without calling first
c. Loves to be around his boys more than you.
4. MR. I`M IN THE INDUSTRY
Advantages
a. Can get you and your friends on the guest list at all the jumpin parties
b. Can have a decent stimulating conversation
c. Tends to dress nice
Disadvantages
a. You don`t know if he`s gay, straight or bi
b. Seems flighty when you speak of a solid commitment
c. You still have to wait in line to get in all the jumpin parties, then
there`s drama at the door
d. All he has is a bunch of pictures with celebrities but he doesn`t know
any of them personally
5. MR. INTELLECTUAL
Advantages
a. Book smart
b. Cares about how you feel
c. Has a very good job
Disadvantages
a. Boring as hell
b. Doesn`t know what the hell he`s doin in bed
c. He is not street smart
d. Always asking you when can he see you again
6. MR. GHETTO
Advantages
a. THE BOMB IN BED!!!!!
b. Makes you laugh
c. Got mad style and flava
d. Has a temper, but generally a charming sweet guy
e. Says he wants a real relationship
Disadvantages
a. He got 3 or more baby momma's
b. Wants to lay up in your crib, use the phone, and eat up al l the food
c. Is in denial when you tell him about himself
d. Comes home at 3:00 am and says he was out with his boys
7. MR. I`M A RIGHTEOUS BLACK MAN
Advantages
a. Will teach you about black history
b. Revolutionary
c. Inspiring & gives to you spiritually & emotionally
d. Wants a wife and family
Disadvantages
a. Breaks up with you for a white girl
b. No money-doesn`t have a job
c. Doesn`t own a nice suit, always wearing camouflage and oils
d. In the end, you find out he is just a trifling, con motha*bleep*a
8. MR. TOO DAMN GOOD
Advantages
a. Will introduce you to his mother
b. Has a job and will take you out
c. Will give you money for your bills if you need it
d. Sometimes he goes to church on Sunday
Disadvantages
a. Sometimes he goes to church on Sunday
b. Secretly wants to be Mr. Thug Life
c. Wears fake Movado & Rolex watches when he goes to the club
d. Ignores you when the game is on because he takes sports too serious - He
didn`t make it professionally
e. You find out after you break up with him that he was cheating on you
9. MR. PLAYA
Advantages
a. Will tell you the truth - that you`re not the only one
b. Sometimes he`s fairly decent in bed
c. He tells you that you` ve changed him and he`s ready to settle down
d. Has his own apartment and car (invites you to move in with him)
Disadvantages
a. He doesn`t acknowledge you in public, especially if there are women
around
b. Generally he is a punk (won`t stand up for anything)
c. He expects you to believe all his lies just because he told you the
truth about other women
d After you catch his lyin` *bleep*, he tells you that he told you that he
was a playa in the beginning anyway
10. MR. I HAVE A JOB
Advantages
a. Of course.... he has a job
b. Doesn`t have too many bad habits
c. Will take care of you when you`re sick
d Tells you that he is in love with you
Disadvantages
a. You stay in the relationship 2 years or m ore and then find out he`s a
shiftless, lazy son-of-a-*bleep* who wants you to do all the wifely duties
but won`t give you a ring
b. He ends up telling you that he loves you, but is not "in love" with you
c. After he leaves you he gets married a month later
11. MR. BEST FRIEND
Advantages
a. He`s your best friend, you tell each other everything; you get along
very, very well
b. He gives you advice when you and your man are having problems
c. The ultimate gentleman
d. Sweet and caring with a good sense of humor
Disadvantages
a. You end up hooking up with him only to find he ain`t about *bleep*
either!
b. Now, you gotta find a new best friend because you can`t stand his
*bleep*
no more
12. MR. RIGHT
Advantages
a. He loves God and takes his relationship with God seriously
b. He is intellectual, brilliant, and capable of taking you there mentally
and emotionally
c. He will love you even when you are not lovable
d. He has a career and not a job!
e. He acknowledges his faults and strives to be a better man
f. He understands a relationship is built on a 200% quota - 100% him and
100% you
g. He doesn`t have a bunch of kids and babies mommas - he`s smarter than
that
h. He is a true best friend
i. He was cute when you met him. But, after spending sometime you see he`s
fine as hell!
j. He can dress - knows the difference b/t formal, semi-formal,
professional, business casual, casual, and since we are just chilling let
me throw on some sweats and a fitted hat
h. He loves his mother and respects women
Disadvantages
a. You`ve never met him and if you did he already has a girl/wife.
Monday, October 17, 2005
Why is the phrase “time heals all wounds” such a common thing said to a person when they are going through a breakup or any type of loss? During the time of distress, it’s hard for the human mind to phantom the concept that as hours pass, days pass, weeks pass, and months pass, the hurt and pain will no longer be as intense.
From experience, I’ve learned that the pain does lose its sting. The thoughts of yesterday or not as intense. The hurt, if dealt with properly, becomes an afterthought eventually. So the next time someone tells you “time heals all wounds” don’t look at them crazy because it does.
In order to get to that level however, you have to take an active role in your healing. What is the source of the pain? Are you willing to learn and grow from the experience? How can your life be better from experiencing this depressing time? Try to think of positive ways to get yourself through. Read your Bible, pray, surround yourself with positive enhancers—people, affirmations, etc.
Have you ever had an experience where you didn’t think you would make it through—but obviously you did (smile)? Please share.
Friday, October 14, 2005
A - Age: late 30s (now you don't think I would actually tell you the exact number did you? smile)
B - Best Friend: They know who they are (didn't name you hear, just in case I left someone out by accident or on purpose)
C - Choice of Meat: Beef
D - Dream Date: hmm...let me think on this one...I better not say, just in case someone's reading this blog and he's not my dream date.
E - Exciting Adventure: taking a cruise on the Nile River and visiting the pyramids in Egypt
F - Favorite Food: chicken fetticine alfredo, bar b que, steak
G - Greatest Accomplishment: Ask me this in about a year (smile)
H - Happiest Day of Your Life: Every day because every day is a blessing
I - Interests: Writing, Reading, Travelling, Surfing the Net, Chatting with Friends (online/offline)
J - Joke: Couldn't tell a joke, even if you gave me the punch line.
K - Kool-Aid: Any variation of RED
L - Love: A few weeks ago, I would have said, I'll never fall in love again. Now, I know that falling in love again is possible.
M - Most Valued possession: duh...my computer
N - Name: no, my mom did not spell my name wrong...it's s-h-e-l-i-a...not the other way.
O - Outfit You Love: lime green floral dress with ruffles that I get compliments on every time I wear it...and I have to admit, I do look good in it (and I must, because I don't normally come out and say I look good in something...I know, I need to get over my complex problem).
P - Pizza Toppings: pepporoni and sausage
Q - Question Asked To You the Most: It's a tie: When are you getting married or Why you don't have any kids?
R - Radio Station: XM Radio
S - Sport: Basketball...will watch Football if I'm with a guy I really REALLY like
T - Television Show: Monday nights--all shows on UPN, CSI-MIAMI/LAS VEGAS, Eve, Loves Inc, Everybody Hates Chris
U - Umbrella in the rain?: Now you know I can't get the hair wet.
V - Video: The Color Purple, Fridays, The Best Man, Two Can Play that Game, etc
W - Winter: Love it if I can be cuddled up with some sexy guy
X - X-rays recently?: that's a little too personal...but NO.
Y - Year Born: okay, this goes back to the letter "A"...if I told you the year, you would do the math...so let's just say it was in the 1900's
Z - Zodiac Sign: Virgo--and you know this.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Two shoes on my wish list...nothing else needs to be said
Louis Vuitton makes more than purses :)
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
THREE THINGS I DON’T UNDERSTAND:
[1] Why does it matter that I'm over 30, not married and don't have kids?
[2] Why does a man you've been with for 3 years act like you are total strangers?
[3] Why did I let myself get tagged twice and finally resorted to doing the "list of 3 things?"
THREE THINGS ON MY DESK:
[1] my cds (Lil Kim, Charlie Wilson, Fantasia, Mariah Carey, Bonnie Rait...yes, I like country too)
[2] my cell phone
[3] a couple of books
THREE THINGS I’M DOING RIGHT NOW:
[1] watching the Martha Stewart Movie on Lifetime
[2] text messaging a friend because he's at work and not supposed to be using the phone
[3] blogging
THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
[1] do what I was put on earth to do
[2] marry the man God has for me
[3] enjoy life to the fullest (don't you think all 3 are obtainable? I do)
THREE THINGS I CAN DO:
[1] Write (I hope that's not being conceited)
[2] Be a good listener (I always try to be a good friend and listen)
[3] Cook (I don't tell too many folks because that's when they want you to cook every time they see you).
THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:
[1] Caring (I tried being hardcore, but not in my nature.)
[2] Straightforward (Why beat around the bush? Too old to play games, so don't ask a question, if you don't want an answer.)
[3] Laidback (Life is what it is.)
THREE THINGS I CAN’T DO:
[1] fake the funk (If you don't like me and I don't like you; why are we holding senseless conversation? It's a waste of time; so I don't fake the funk. I speak and go on about my business...my time is precious and I would think yours was too).
[2] deal with the haters (If you hate people, don't talk to me...please pass me by. Stop hating and do your own thing.)
[3] go back with an ex (especially one who acted like an a-hole and now thinks things are cool again and wants to come back...once the a-hole in you comes out, there's no going back sucka.)
THREE THINGS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO:
[1] Fantasia's CD (5 stars)
[2] Mariah Carey's CD (5 stars)
[3] Lil' Kim's CD (5 stars...I know you're shocked that I listen to rap...but I had to see what the Queen B was talking about...loved the beats...lyrics were on point...minus the cussing).
THREE THINGS I DON’T THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO EVER:
[1] The Haters (If they hate on someone else today, believe me, you'll be on the list to hate on the next day).
[2] people who don't have your best interest at heart (weigh what they are saying...take what you need and ignore the rest).
[3] your boyfriends mother...she either wants you two to get back together because she likes you or she doesn't want you two to get back together because she hates you...so why is she even involved in the relationship between you and your man??? Okay, I went on a temper tantrum here :)
THREE THINGS YOU SAY:
[1] Oh no they didn't
[2] Smooches
[3] To live is to love and to love is to live.--Shelia M Goss (Yes, you can quote me...smile).
THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS:
[1] Teacakes and Banana Pudding is a tie
[2] Chicken Fetticine Alfredo
[3] Bar B Que
THREE THINGS YOU’D LIKE TO LEARN:
[1] produce a movie
[2] record a song
[3] how to ride a horse (get your mind out of the gutter...I'm talking about ponies...you know with four legs).
THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY:
[1] water
[2] orange juice
[3] sprite
THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID:
[1] Leave it to Beaver
[2] Sesame Street
[3] Captain Kangaroo
THREE THINGS YOU WISH PEOPLE WOULD LEARN TO DO:
[1] be courteous (it won't hurt you to say excuse me if you almost ran over my foot with your buggy)
[2] smile more (why frown all of the time...life isn't that bad...and if it was, you wouldn't be able to get around like you do)
[3] read more (open yourselves up to a new world...there are plenty of good authors out there...yes, this is a shameless plug...smile)
If your name has an "O" or an "I" in it, you've been tagged :). Hey, Princess Dominique and Living Single got me, so I had to pass the love on to you.
Monday, October 10, 2005
You Asked, I Answered
Reporting Live from Behind the Pen
Shaye’s question: What was your inspiration for your next novel?
The idea for My Three Beaus came to me in a dream. When I woke up, I got up and wrote a short blurb about it and less than a year later, I finally sat down to write the story. Paige C. Webb is a figment of my imagination. She’s a woman who’s not afraid to live life on the edge. She’s confident, yet insecure at the same time. She’s a good example of how a woman can date multiple men, but not be physically intimate with them all. She also shows that women have commitment issues too.
Yolanda’s questions: (a) I am currently reading your book, My Invisible Husband and I am loving it. I want to know, what type of research you do for your novels?
Most of my ideas for my books hit me while I’m sleeping. I dream movies and if I get up the next morning and write the idea down, it stays with me. I don’t really do detailed research for my novels. I let the characters do their thing. For my first novel, Roses are Thorns, Violets are True I did a little research to see if it was realistic for twins to be at odds and once I found out that there were statistics to support it, I allowed the twins to have their way. If you’ve read the book, then you’ll know that these two sisters—Rose and Violet are like oil and water—they don’t mix. But because those characters were meant to be at odds, I would have written it that way even if the statistics didn’t show that sibling rivalry exists amongst twins. My Invisible Husband stemmed from one question that I’ve heard over and over…”So, when are you getting married?” I’ve either lived or visited most of the places I mention in my novels. It helps to have been there when writing those scenes.
(b) Also, I'd like to know how you decided on your publisher and if you think you are a perfect fit?
Believe it or not, I’m self-published. I’ve been blessed. I’ve received many accolades as a self-published author. Being on the Essence Bestsellers list, the Dallas Morning News Bestsellers list and also being mentioned in national publications such as the New York Times and Writer’s Digest are a feat for any author. To know that it has happened while self-published brings tears to my eyes sometimes. I am currently in search of a publishing home. So if there are any publishers out there looking for an author who can write exciting stories with a twist, email me (smile).
(c) Do you use any writing software? If so, which one?
I don’t use any writing software. All I need is my keyboard, Microsoft Word, and a good CD and I’m good to go.
Anonymous’ questions: (a)What do you think about the current state of AA industry?
The AA industry is changing. Only time will tell whether it’s for the best or not. Being optimistic, I think it is. There’s a huge audience for AA fiction, so I’m excited about the recent news.
(b) Do you think there is a lack of creativity in some of the writers (referring to the number of books that have a similar plot)?
What’s that old saying, “There’s nothing new under the sun.” 50 authors in 50 places in the world can have the same idea, but it’s how they tell the story that makes it interesting. Let’s use the model example girl meets boy, girl/boy breaks up with boy/girl, girl and boy reunite. I’ve read this type of situation over and over, but what makes me want to read the same type of story again and again is the author’s ability to take a used concept and make it theirs. I think an author has to have their own writing style and if they do, then even if they use a similar plot such as in the example above, the reader will find the story interesting.
Janice-NYC’s questions: (a)My Invisible Husband is about a woman that pretends to be engaged and then married and your new book My Three Beaus is about a woman afraid of commitment and ends up with three marriage proposals. My question to you…do you ever feel pressured by family or friends comments about not being married and not having children?
No, I don’t feel any pressure. It can get annoying to hear “so when are you getting married,” but there’s no pressure. Why? Because I’m the one who has to live with the consequences. If I had gotten married to the last guy I was with, I would be going through a divorce right now. As far as kids, I don’t have any. I wanted to be married first and then kids; but since I haven’t been married, I haven’t been trying to have kids.
(b) Do you desire these things, or are you content as you are?
I’m content and confident that the man God has for me is out there and will find me. In the meantime, I believe in living life to the fullest. I’m back on the dating scene and taking it one day at a time. Not having kids right now is a blessing. I have a niece and three nephews to pour my motherly affections on and when I get tired, I can always send them back home to their mamas (smile).
Mahaira’s questions: (a) Looking back was there something in particular that helped you to decide to become a writer?
I think it would have happened eventually. I got my first diary when I was 9 and I’ve been writing every since. Originally I had planned on being a professional writer when I retired. But life is full of changes, so in 1997 (after losing my Dad…Princess Di’s tragic death), a revelation hit me to pursue it. I started off sharing my poetry with others and then I felt more confident and started sharing my short stories. Readers feedback was positive and then I finally got the nerves to write novels.
(b) Did you choose it or did the profession choose you?
The profession must have chosen me. I originally went to school to be an Engineer.
(c) If you were stranded on a desert island and had your pick of anyone to be stranded with, who would it be?
The man God has for me—whoever he may be.
(d) What three items would you HAVE to have?
My Bible, a laptop with a solar powered battery so I can journal my experience and hopefully it’ll come with a little black box—that seems to never be destroyed, and a pair of shoes (because I would hate to walk barefooted all of the time…smile).
If you could meet one of your characters, which one would it be?
Byron in My Invisible Husband. He has all the characteristics I want in a man.
Michelle’s question: If you could enact any fantasy you have, what would it be?
I don’t know if I can post it here (my mama might log on…smile). I’ll keep it clean.
My fantasy would be to have a nice romantic life not just dinner with Shemar Moore, Morris ChestNut, Blair Underwood, or Denzel Washington. Use your imagination.
Leah’s question: What's been the most disappointing thing you've encountered in regards to writing and publishing?
Waiting on a major publisher to take notice. But I decided a long time ago to take a chance on myself and I’m so glad I did. Right now I don’t have anything to prove. I’ve already proven that I can get on bestsellers lists. And that’s with a limited distribution channel. So if it was a broader distribution channel, the sky is the limit (smile).
Friday, October 07, 2005
Ask me anything and I will answer it here on the blog. Check back on Monday to see my responses--I promise...you can leave your name or leave one anonymously...I'm not scared (smile). I look forward to your questions.
Shelia
The most accurate measure of our worth is how much we value ourselves. When we value who we are, we are sure to draw to us others who value us as much. When we are needy, deficient, lacking confidence and self-esteem, we will find ourselves in situations and among people that reinforce those views.The first step in building relationships is learning to value who we are. We cannot convince others how wonderful and marvelous we are if we do not believe it. We must first convince ourselves. If we repeatedly find ourselves in situations where we are treated badly, we are responsible, not the other person. When we find ourselves in situations where we do not feel wanted, we must have the courage and confidence to leave. Our sense of worth must first come from within. When we have that, we can expect those in our relationships will value us as well.
The wealth of my spirit is the light of my world.---"Acts of Faith"
Thursday, October 06, 2005
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY **October 30th
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.*
**Class 1
**How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide
Presentation.
**Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
**The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
**Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
**Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.
**Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
**Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
**Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
**After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
**Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM
Class 6
**Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
**Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
**Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum**.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
**Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
**Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
**Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
**Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10
**Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
**4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
**Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing**.*
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined*
**Class 12
**How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
**Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13
**How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and
Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
**Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
**Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.*
*Class 14
**The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
**Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
**Upon completion of any of the above courses,*
*diplomas will be issued to the survivors.*
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
NICOLETTE MONTANA FAKED A LAS VEGAS WEDDING
The fiction world that was created around Nicolette Montana pales in comparison to the real life drama Jennifer Wilbanks - The Runaway Bride has imposed on her family and friends.
I would love to find out what's going on in Jennifer's mind. Why did she go to the EXTREME to NOT get married? So many unanswered questions, but we'll all soon know the answers to those two and so much more.
I guess a simple interview could have answered those questions, but as someone mentioned online, everybody wants their fifteen minutes of fame. I ain't mad at her, but I wouldn't recommend anyone else doing something so outrageous.
Leave the Drama to the fiction characters, like Nikki.
Some would say that Nikki's world is unrealistic, but once again, Jennifer Wilbanks proves that someone's fiction, is another person's reality.
Remember the game charades? Nicolette(Nikki) Montana has taken the game a step further. Get the scoop in My Invisible Husband...before anyone else does.
My Invisible Husband - A Story With a Twist
Monday, October 03, 2005
Shelia, the love of my life, has become my best friend. Our deep conversations always excite me. Sometimes I feel like I know her like the back of my hand, but then there are times, that I realize that there are still so much more to learn about her. She’s simple, but yet complex.
I know that she is one of the most giving and down to earth ladies you’ll ever want to meet. I fell in love with her spirit before knowing her in the physical. Her generous heart allowed me to be myself and find joy in the simplest things in life. I call her my quiet storm. She will do what ever she can to help you, but if she feels that you’re trying to take advantage of her generosity, she can be hell on wheels. I told her when we first met that she should be more cautious, because some people will push you to the limit. I’m glad to say that she finally learned the art of saying no and she no longer feels guilty about those times that she can’t help.
Shelia's a little adventurous too. Most women don’t travel by themselves, but she seemed to do it on a regular basis. It appears that we both love to travel.
We both have been to most of the major US cities, taken cruises, as well as toured places such as, Jamaica, Bahamas, and Mexico. We both agreed that Paradise Island in the Bahamas and Grand Cayman Islands are places that we would like to see again, but this time together.
Overall, we have a good relationship. Sometimes when she’s feeling insecure about herself, I try to be there to encourage her. Although she’s a very beautiful and talented woman, she doesn’t feel that way all of the time. In her mind, she thinks that something is wrong with her, just because she’s not the perfect size 10. Well, like I told her, who said size 10 was perfect. In my eyes, she’s one fine woman. I like my women with a little meat on the bones and besides, her curves are all in the right places. Some women spend thousands of dollars to get the boobs that she has been so richly blessed with. Okay, I can go on and on about those, so let me stop here.
Would my ex have really said some of those things above? Hmm. I don't know. I wouldn't dare post what he would say about me now...lol, he would probably use the B word to describe my Diva like attitude. Okay, I'm having a venting moment, so let me get offline and stop telling my business in cyberspace.
Being nosy, what would one of your exes say about you?
