My Invisible Husband

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My Invisible Husband

Monday, January 09, 2006

Can You Break the Cycle?

Nikki Montana at one point in her life possessed some of the characteristics that some of us do. During her quest for finding the right man, she's run into all types, with the end results being the same--a bad relationship.

Like Nikki, in the past, I found that my natural instinct has been to play the role of rescuer, but I stopped. If I would have stopped sooner it would have saved me a lot of energy and heartbreak.

Below is a list of five traits that I've seen either in myself or in friends. They are traits that you should avoid: If you see yourself as one of these, it's time to reevaluate and break an unhealthy cycle. If I can do it, anyone can.

The Rescuer - Do you find yourself trying to rescue a man from this or that and most of the time himself? Enough already.

The Nurturer - Are you his mama? No, so why play the dual role of lover/mama...sounds perverted doesn't stop.

The Warden - Okay, now don't get mad, but having your man on a strict schedule sounds like there are trust issues. If you have to monitor his every move, then maybe he's not the man for you.

The Dog Catcher - Bow wow...need I say know he's a dog, he was dating three other women when you met him, but you still allow him into your heart.

The Landlord - Time is precious. Have fun, but be wise. Why let someone rent space in your heart when you know they are not the one.

I'm sure there are other traits I could touch on. Fellows, if you’re reading this, this also applies to you. We don’t need to be rescued (then again, we do want our knight in shining armor…smile).

The "Nikki" question this week: Have you ever been one of the 5 above? What advice would you give someone trying to break an unhealthy cycle?

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