♥
My Invisible Husband
I'm back!!! I had a great time in the Big D - Dallas that is (smile). I usually try to stay away from controversial topics (because the only drama I like is found between the pages of a book); however what I'm about to bring up has been a "hot" topic in several email groups , so I'm curious to know what my blog buddies think.
Do you think there's a D-L (Downlow) epidemic spreading the nation?
JL King's book has brought the subject to the forefront for many and rightfully so. Terry McMillian (one of my favorite author's by the way) is also going through a bitter divorce because she found out that her husband was gay. R Kelly's latest songs touches on the subject.
How would you deal with finding out that your man that you've been married to or dating is bi-sexual, gay or whatever word you want to use?
This is a response I posted on Gwynne's Sanctum's blog: "although there are men out there that are on the DL, fortunately I haven't had a personal experience with one."
Yolanda from Yolanda's Lair responded: "Now Shelia knows I love her because she is my big sister, but how do you REALLY know that you haven't dealt with anyone like that? or had the experience?"
She made a good point. My response however is I would hope that I would know. Just like when a man cheats...warning signs are there. We either choose to act on them or ignore them. I feel that I would see some type of warning signs. But quite honestly, in my heart I wouldn't want to believe that he was gay or cheating on me with a man, so I would probably be in a state of denial first and only God could help him if my instincts proved to be true.
5 your rant or rave
0 your rant or rave
CONTRADICTIONS
Why is life full of contradictions? It goes all the way back to grade school. Your teachers say one thing, but they do another. Your parents tell you one thing, but like that old motto "Do as I say, not as I do" seems to hold true. When you grow up and work, your company promises you one thing and the next thing you know, you're a statistic--part of downsizing.
Love is like that too. To quote R Kelly, "My mind is telling me no...but my body is telling me yes" seems to be the norm. Why do we continue to stay in relationships that threaten our mental wellness?
Lately, some people close to me seem to be full of contradictions. They claim to have my best interest at heart, but yet do things that affect the outcome of a lot of things. For once, I wish they would be upfront. I'm tired. Tired of dealing with it all, so all I can do is start letting go.
There's one individual who was dead set on getting to know me; however they are full of contradictions too. They made a mistake by failing to look beneath the surface. All they see is the possibilities of what I can do for them. Fortunately they were found out before I invested too much time or energy. Several things contributed to me finding out their true agenda. What put the icing on the cake is when they last called me. During the course of the conversation, they asked me how I was doing. My response, "I'm not doing too well. I have a lot on my mind."
They pretended not to hear and continued the conversation as if I said, "all was well." That was a big mistake on their part. It wasn't really a test, but it was the perfect opportunity to see if this new person was real or fake and would take the time to get to know me and be concerned about me. Of course, if I didn't want to go into details about what was ailing me at the time, I would have told them so. To ignore the fact that I brought it up was a no-no. Now that I know they are fake and could really care less, voice mail has become the answer to their calls.
When I see them in person, they get the fake greeting and my attention span is totally taken up with whoever else is around and if no one else is around, my handy cell phone mysteriously calls for my attention.
Life and it's Contradictions.
6 your rant or rave
CONFUSION
Confusion is a state of mind
Often times I find myself there because your actions don't match your words.
Not once have you officially apologized for what took place, but instead I
Find you acting as if life is status quo. When in fact
Until I can see things much more clearly, we're as
Seperate as two people who were once in love could be.
In fact, it was your idea to go our seperate ways.
Originally opposed to the idea, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Nothing will ever again get in the way of my peace of mind.
2 your rant or rave
DOUBLE STANDARDS
Men and women are still viewed differently when it comes to dating. If a man dates or has multiple partners, he is called a PLAYA. But if a woman dates multiple men, she is labeled a HOE. How do you view this double standard?
2 your rant or rave
CELIBACY - YES OR NO?
Many become celibate for various reasons such as, afraid of sexual diseases, no available sex partners, or religious reasons. Are you celibate? Have you ever been celibate. If so, how long and what were your reasons for becoming celibate?
2 your rant or rave
ARE YOU A FLIRT?
The art of flirting, some have mastered it. Are you a flirt? If so, how do you keep it under control? When should you draw the line with flirting?
3 your rant or rave
I ONCE BELIEVED
I once believed that if I loved the one I was with unconditionally, that they would return the love unconditionally. Not only would they love me, they would always have my best interest at heart.
I once believed that if I opened up and just be myself that a person would learn to appreciate me for who I am and not for what they could get out of me. I thought communicating my innermost thoughts and feelings would bring us closer and that maybe my opinion actually did matter.
Reality stung when I realized that I was the only person in love, not him. Feeling as if I spent wasted hours and wasted years on something that was not to be; wondering sometimes hopelessly if I’ll ever find true love or continue this life’s journey by myself.
--Shelia M. Goss
3 your rant or rave
In celebration of the release of her latest book-Sparkledoll.Com-Reflections, Celebrity Interviews, and Behind the Scenes with Author and Pop Culture Critic Dorrie Williams-Wheeler Sparkledoll Productions is sponsoring the JULY CONTEST.
Entering is easy. All you have to do is visit my blog at http://sheliagoss.blogspot.com and send your name and email address to myinvisiblehusb@aol.com with the correct answers to the following 3 questions (Hint: All answers are on my blog):
1. Name at least 1 movie I absolutely adored.
2. Name at least 1 Bad Boy Records group that I've interviewed.
3. What is my favorite vacation spot?
BONUS: True or False. I interviewed Elvis Presley's daughter -- Lisa Marie Presley.
Grand Prize:
1 Autographed copy of Sparkledoll.Com-Reflections, Celebrity Interviews, and Behind the Scenes
1 Autographed copy of Be My Sorority Sister-Under Pressure
First Prize:
1 Autographed copy of Sparkledoll.Com-Reflections, Celebrity Interviews, and Behind the Scenes
A word from the author: "Sparkledoll.Com-Reflections, Celebrity Interviews, and Behind the Scenes is a professional autobiography of sorts. I have been on-line for years. Back in the day, I had a popular Marcus Camby fan site named Cambyism. Imissthe80s has been online for four years. Thabiz is a buzzing celebrity interview and pop culture site. I've been a writer for as long as I can remember and I share the concept to conception details of my books and websites. The pictures in the
book are candid. I know I wrote it so I'm biased, but I think it's totally awesome. I've never seen a book like this. It's so personal, I really feel like people will
know what I have been through and the challenges I face as a writer, military spouse, mother, and female entertainment journalist."
Sparkledoll.Com-Reflections, Celebrity Interviews, and Behind the Scenes synopsis:
Go deep with author and entertainment journalist Dorrie Williams-Wheeler as she gives readers an up close and personal tour of her professional life. In this break every rules book Dorrie speaks in conversational tone about how she made the transition from screenwriter to published author and entertainment journalist. She shares the concept to conception details of her fiction and non-fiction books & various popular websites she has operated over the years. Find out everything about her entertainment and celebrity interview site Thabiz and the eighties nostalgia and pop culture website Imissthe80s. Professional accomplishments aside, she still manages to balance being a military spouse and the mother of two children under age five.
*Diary Entries-Just want makes this neurotic writer tick? Delve into journal entries in which she shares her intimate feelings.
*Dorrie the Designer-Dorrie details how an NBA fan site she created and a website that detailed a notorious football players trial showed her the power of the Net.
*Articles, personal essays, pictures never before published short stories, and more!
*Includes her full text interviews from her entertainment site Thabiz. Book features her interviews with Ciara, Brooke Valentine, Nivea, B5, JoJo, Gerald Levert,Tweet, Cassidy, Mannie Fresh, and many more!
For more details about Dorrie Williams-Wheeler please visit http://www.sparkledoll.com
0 your rant or rave
Monday, July 25, 2005
Do you think there's a D-L Epidemic?
I'm back!!! I had a great time in the Big D - Dallas that is (smile). I usually try to stay away from controversial topics (because the only drama I like is found between the pages of a book); however what I'm about to bring up has been a "hot" topic in several email groups , so I'm curious to know what my blog buddies think.
Do you think there's a D-L (Downlow) epidemic spreading the nation?
JL King's book has brought the subject to the forefront for many and rightfully so. Terry McMillian (one of my favorite author's by the way) is also going through a bitter divorce because she found out that her husband was gay. R Kelly's latest songs touches on the subject.
How would you deal with finding out that your man that you've been married to or dating is bi-sexual, gay or whatever word you want to use?
This is a response I posted on Gwynne's Sanctum's blog: "although there are men out there that are on the DL, fortunately I haven't had a personal experience with one."
Yolanda from Yolanda's Lair responded: "Now Shelia knows I love her because she is my big sister, but how do you REALLY know that you haven't dealt with anyone like that? or had the experience?"
She made a good point. My response however is I would hope that I would know. Just like when a man cheats...warning signs are there. We either choose to act on them or ignore them. I feel that I would see some type of warning signs. But quite honestly, in my heart I wouldn't want to believe that he was gay or cheating on me with a man, so I would probably be in a state of denial first and only God could help him if my instincts proved to be true.
Friday, July 22, 2005
***WEEKEND GETAWAY***
Ladies and Gents, I'll be offline for the next couple of days. I'm going to an EXPO and hopefully hang out with a few friends. I need to get away from the day to day anyway...so here's to de-stressing :)
Ladies and Gents, I'll be offline for the next couple of days. I'm going to an EXPO and hopefully hang out with a few friends. I need to get away from the day to day anyway...so here's to de-stressing :)
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Why is life full of contradictions? It goes all the way back to grade school. Your teachers say one thing, but they do another. Your parents tell you one thing, but like that old motto "Do as I say, not as I do" seems to hold true. When you grow up and work, your company promises you one thing and the next thing you know, you're a statistic--part of downsizing.
Love is like that too. To quote R Kelly, "My mind is telling me no...but my body is telling me yes" seems to be the norm. Why do we continue to stay in relationships that threaten our mental wellness?
Lately, some people close to me seem to be full of contradictions. They claim to have my best interest at heart, but yet do things that affect the outcome of a lot of things. For once, I wish they would be upfront. I'm tired. Tired of dealing with it all, so all I can do is start letting go.
There's one individual who was dead set on getting to know me; however they are full of contradictions too. They made a mistake by failing to look beneath the surface. All they see is the possibilities of what I can do for them. Fortunately they were found out before I invested too much time or energy. Several things contributed to me finding out their true agenda. What put the icing on the cake is when they last called me. During the course of the conversation, they asked me how I was doing. My response, "I'm not doing too well. I have a lot on my mind."
They pretended not to hear and continued the conversation as if I said, "all was well." That was a big mistake on their part. It wasn't really a test, but it was the perfect opportunity to see if this new person was real or fake and would take the time to get to know me and be concerned about me. Of course, if I didn't want to go into details about what was ailing me at the time, I would have told them so. To ignore the fact that I brought it up was a no-no. Now that I know they are fake and could really care less, voice mail has become the answer to their calls.
When I see them in person, they get the fake greeting and my attention span is totally taken up with whoever else is around and if no one else is around, my handy cell phone mysteriously calls for my attention.
Life and it's Contradictions.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Confusion is a state of mind
Often times I find myself there because your actions don't match your words.
Not once have you officially apologized for what took place, but instead I
Find you acting as if life is status quo. When in fact
Until I can see things much more clearly, we're as
Seperate as two people who were once in love could be.
In fact, it was your idea to go our seperate ways.
Originally opposed to the idea, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Nothing will ever again get in the way of my peace of mind.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Men and women are still viewed differently when it comes to dating. If a man dates or has multiple partners, he is called a PLAYA. But if a woman dates multiple men, she is labeled a HOE. How do you view this double standard?
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Many become celibate for various reasons such as, afraid of sexual diseases, no available sex partners, or religious reasons. Are you celibate? Have you ever been celibate. If so, how long and what were your reasons for becoming celibate?
Thursday, July 07, 2005
The art of flirting, some have mastered it. Are you a flirt? If so, how do you keep it under control? When should you draw the line with flirting?
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
I once believed that if I loved the one I was with unconditionally, that they would return the love unconditionally. Not only would they love me, they would always have my best interest at heart.
I once believed that if I opened up and just be myself that a person would learn to appreciate me for who I am and not for what they could get out of me. I thought communicating my innermost thoughts and feelings would bring us closer and that maybe my opinion actually did matter.
Reality stung when I realized that I was the only person in love, not him. Feeling as if I spent wasted hours and wasted years on something that was not to be; wondering sometimes hopelessly if I’ll ever find true love or continue this life’s journey by myself.
--Shelia M. Goss
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
In celebration of the release of her latest book-Sparkledoll.Com-Reflections, Celebrity Interviews, and Behind the Scenes with Author and Pop Culture Critic Dorrie Williams-Wheeler Sparkledoll Productions is sponsoring the JULY CONTEST.
Entering is easy. All you have to do is visit my blog at http://sheliagoss.blogspot.com and send your name and email address to myinvisiblehusb@aol.com with the correct answers to the following 3 questions (Hint: All answers are on my blog):
1. Name at least 1 movie I absolutely adored.
2. Name at least 1 Bad Boy Records group that I've interviewed.
3. What is my favorite vacation spot?
BONUS: True or False. I interviewed Elvis Presley's daughter -- Lisa Marie Presley.
Grand Prize:
1 Autographed copy of Sparkledoll.Com-Reflections, Celebrity Interviews, and Behind the Scenes
1 Autographed copy of Be My Sorority Sister-Under Pressure
First Prize:
1 Autographed copy of Sparkledoll.Com-Reflections, Celebrity Interviews, and Behind the Scenes
A word from the author: "Sparkledoll.Com-Reflections, Celebrity Interviews, and Behind the Scenes is a professional autobiography of sorts. I have been on-line for years. Back in the day, I had a popular Marcus Camby fan site named Cambyism. Imissthe80s has been online for four years. Thabiz is a buzzing celebrity interview and pop culture site. I've been a writer for as long as I can remember and I share the concept to conception details of my books and websites. The pictures in the
book are candid. I know I wrote it so I'm biased, but I think it's totally awesome. I've never seen a book like this. It's so personal, I really feel like people will
know what I have been through and the challenges I face as a writer, military spouse, mother, and female entertainment journalist."
Sparkledoll.Com-Reflections, Celebrity Interviews, and Behind the Scenes synopsis:
Go deep with author and entertainment journalist Dorrie Williams-Wheeler as she gives readers an up close and personal tour of her professional life. In this break every rules book Dorrie speaks in conversational tone about how she made the transition from screenwriter to published author and entertainment journalist. She shares the concept to conception details of her fiction and non-fiction books & various popular websites she has operated over the years. Find out everything about her entertainment and celebrity interview site Thabiz and the eighties nostalgia and pop culture website Imissthe80s. Professional accomplishments aside, she still manages to balance being a military spouse and the mother of two children under age five.
*Diary Entries-Just want makes this neurotic writer tick? Delve into journal entries in which she shares her intimate feelings.
*Dorrie the Designer-Dorrie details how an NBA fan site she created and a website that detailed a notorious football players trial showed her the power of the Net.
*Articles, personal essays, pictures never before published short stories, and more!
*Includes her full text interviews from her entertainment site Thabiz. Book features her interviews with Ciara, Brooke Valentine, Nivea, B5, JoJo, Gerald Levert,Tweet, Cassidy, Mannie Fresh, and many more!
For more details about Dorrie Williams-Wheeler please visit http://www.sparkledoll.com
No purchase is necessary to win. All entries must be received by midnight July 31, 2005. Void where prohibited by law.
