My Invisible Husband

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My Invisible Husband

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Here's the Victor Said weekly post by Essense Best Selling Author Victor McGlothin.

June 17, 2005

Hello Victor,

I met a guy from a reggae band and he took my phone number. He said that he would call me, inform me of the next place they would be performing and have me as his special guest. Well, he didn’t call and the band played the very next day in a club just two hours away from where they played before, which I noticed on a tour schedule given out to everyone who attends their concerts. Anyway, my question is… will look like a desperate groupie if I go to one of their future concerts and try to talk to him?

I’m with the band

Victor Said...

In a word, "Duhhh!”
I’m with the band, this is a very interesting submission because I think you already know the answer. I’m imagining the band on stage and stars in your eyes, until the band unplugged their equipment and climbed into their tour bus. Then, you fell fast asleep with dust in your eyes instead. I’m afraid this story will not have a fairytale ‘Made for TV Movie’ ending.

Chances are, the musician has boogied on down the road with sistahs from the next stop on his mind, he was simply doing the ‘tell the fan what she wants to hear thing’ or he just wasn’t that into you. Which ever the case may have been, consider yourself fortunate that he’s not sharing tawdry ‘back of the bus booty tales’ about you with the other band members. Is he? Otherwise, he left you in the best possible shape imaginable, without his bacteria or his baby to remember him by. Rejoice and let it go. The alternative is not so pretty. You could chase him down and make your presence felt but begging is so unbecoming. It’s better to be thought a groupie than to drive two hours for his next gig, get naked afterwards and prove it.


If you want to understand the complicated black man (like there is any other kind) or advice to help you get what you want from yours, ask Victor by sending an email message to Submissions will be posted on the web site.

Please note: Victor McGlothin is not a licensed psychologist, sex therapist, or marriage counselor and his responses are meant for entertainment purposes only.

All submissions should be limited to fifty words and have a short title i.e. "Confused in Chicago," "Freaky from Fountainhead," "Tired of the lies," "He might be crazy but I ain't," etc.

Responses to Victor said... may be edited and shortened for the sake of space. Don't forget to check in every Friday to see whatVictor said.. on

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