When getting into a new relationship, how much drama is too much drama? Recently, I started going out with a man who has a 3 year old child, so of course, there is "baby mama drama." Another guy I have started talking to has "ex-girlfriend drama." My question is how do you weed through the garbage and figure out if the relationship is worth pursuing? I know that a person's past is always subject to scrutiny because I have been dating men, who have been approached by my ex's but where do you draw the line? If a person is really through with the ex, when do you know?
When is drama worth the hassle,
You’ve brought up some very important issues concerning when or if you should become involved with a brotha, who has gone through difficult times with a female but he still might be wearing too much of its residue on the bottom of his shoes. If you don’t want that mess tracked up in your house, I suggest that you see if he’s willing to get that mess cleaned up before you let him come in. If it’s “baby mama drama,” get together and write a short ‘rules of engagement’ contract whereby he promises to do A,B,C ensuring that you will, in not shape form or fashion, have to deal with having your piece destroyed. If it happens to be “ex-girlfriend drama,” the same applies. Get together and construct a contract for acceptable behavior for the both of you when approached by your respective ex’s.
For instance, you should be afforded the privilege to answer his telephone when you’re at his home and vice-versa, if you’re serious about one another (building trust on a budget). If the problem lies within the ex’s reluctance to let go, get the law involved then see how fast they learn to go on about their business (combating crazy with handcuffs). Freedom from incarceration beats carrying an unrequited torch any day! Love on lockdown ain’t no joke… from what I heard.
Sharing responsibilities and team building is very important from the get go. If he’s not willing to enter into a written contract and stick to it, you’ll have your answer that drama with him isn’t worth the hassle.
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